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What's the best comeback you've Lock Rss

This is an idea from another thread

But you know how there's sometimes when other people say/do something that requires you/someone to have a really good smart comeback.

Just wanted to share everyones stories. Maybe you said something to someone after they said something stupid to you.
Or maybe you overhead a good one
Or maybe there is even one that you wanted to say but didn't think of until after the fact.

Here's one that I can remember,
When I was in high school I had this young P.E teacher. He was really nice and he was very short (nearly the same height as most of the students in our year). The sports classes were split into a boys class and a girls class (cos the boys play "real" sports or something like that).

One day we(the girls) were out in the field behind the school, this is a public field so anyone can go there at any time. We were all playing up to the point where the teacher snapped and told us all to sit down. He started to yell at us as this guy walked past. The guy started laughing really loudly and was watching us.
My teacher turned to him and asked him to go as he was teaching a class etc.

Then the guy said something like "it's just funny seeing a midgit trying to yell at some kids"
And then without a beat my teacher came out with this......
"mate, I can buy platform shoes but you're always gonna be that ugly!"

gasp

So anyone else have a story about a comeback that they want to share? I'd love to hear them smile
Oh goodness, I can't stop laughing! That's hilarious, hats off to your old PE teacher!
Unfortunately, I'm normally in the 'too slow' category, and I think of my comebacks about 2 hours after the actual thing happened!
One time I did have a good comeback (although I was a little rude!):

It was a couple of months after DS1 was born, and my friends wanted to go shopping with me to buy gifts for the baby. I was a little nervous, as it was the first time I'd be seeing many of my friends since giving birth, so I made an extra effort to look good- dressed nicely, fussed about with my hair and jewellery and dressed DS in his new onesie.

We'd decided to meet at a cafe, and when I arrived, one of my friends (who hadn't known me very long, in fairness) gasped, goggled at my belly and exclaimed 'Oh, my gosh! You're having another? So soon after the first?!'

So, I shot back at her: 'Yeah, congratulations to you too! You must be pretty far along!'

She didn't take offense, thank goodness! We're great friends today, and have a good laugh over it- she was actually a couple of weeks along at the time, and had no idea!
i love...

'thanks, captain obvious' to those who have stated the obvious, like 'its a bit wet out there'.

and

'did i stutter' to those who try to beg my pardon.

my grandpa once told me (when i was about 15) that i wasnt too old to be hit and i told him that i was old enough to hit him back.

and lol Skippy. my dh does that. i tell him his breath smells like poo, he tells me my breath smells like poo lol. annoys me so much cos you cant insult someone with the insult they just insulted you with. it is unsportsman like. he also does the 'you are!'.

i love...

'thanks, captain obvious'




to which I would reply

"No worries, Citizen"
i've got a couple...

if i say "i've got a head ache" my dad always replies "yea well if i had a head like that it would ache too"

if someone has pointed out/said something really obvious i say "no *** sherlock"

but the most personal (and wrong) comeback i've said is to my SIL during a extremely heated arguement (i appologise in advance if it offends)

she was yelling at me for controlling my then DF now DH for not letting him see his family (so not true), she then continued to say "your nothing but a slut" i instantly said in the heat of the moment "yea, says the one who has 6 kids to 4 different fathers". i know it was very harsh and wrong, and i do regret it, unfortunately though im one of those ones who think of things a few minutes later, so thats my best comeback sad

for the record my DH and i have never slept with anyone else but each other, so i dont know what she was on about. and there were other issues going on at the time.





My best and most embarrassing (cause I said it louder then intended) was when I was in year 11. We were in maths class and the teacher had written a problem on the whiteboard. One of the other students pointed out to the teacher that there were grammatical errors with the problem and they were arguing. The student said 'cannot believe that we are English debating in Maths and I pipe up saying 'well it beats "Maths debating" (say this quickly) in Maths.' I should also mention that it was an all girls school with a male teacher and male student teacher.

I had lots of come backs when I was younger, not so many now.


My best and most embarrassing (cause I said it louder then intended) was when I was in year 11. We were in maths class and the teacher had written a problem on the whiteboard. One of the other students pointed out to the teacher that there were grammatical errors with the problem and they were arguing. The student said 'cannot believe that we are English debating in Maths and I pipe up saying 'well it beats "Maths debating" (say this quickly) in Maths.' I should also mention that it was an all girls school with a male teacher and male student teacher.

I had lots of come backs when I was younger, not so many now.


haha, I love this! hilarious smile maths-der-bate-ing wink lol!
When my DD1 was a toddler I was a single mum and on the benefit she was under two.
Anyway one night on a "night off' a guy decided to chat me up and asked what I did for a job.
I explained I was a single mum to a beautiful DD and he looked horrified and started going on about how he works hard and pays taxes so that I can get paid and spend it on crap.
So I said,'Hey I have always wondered who makes money for me, now that i've found you I must say thanks for this dress... it cost $200!' And then I walked off

http://decadent-delights1.webnode.com/blog/
My blog, take a peek into my world

When I was pregnant one of my uncles would always comment on my growing bump. "Hello tubby" "Easy fatso" etc. My reply was always "I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?" which is funnier cos his gut was way bigger than mine!

About a month after dd was born I was at the shopping centre and this woman said "what a handsome little boy", wtf she was literally dressed top to toe in varying shades of pink & purple complete with bow on her head. I didn't miss a beat, smiled and said "thanks, we really wanted a girl so we just dress him in pink." She looked confused, then horrified as I walked away...


Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds,
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.


When my DD1 was a toddler I was a single mum and on the benefit she was under two.
Anyway one night on a "night off' a guy decided to chat me up and asked what I did for a job.
I explained I was a single mum to a beautiful DD and he looked horrified and started going on about how he works hard and pays taxes so that I can get paid and spend it on crap.
So I said,'Hey I have always wondered who makes money for me, now that i've found you I must say thanks for this dress... it cost $200!' And then I walked off



wub laugh laugh laugh


My favourite used to be "do you want a medal or a chest to pin it on'.

I remember lame ones people used to say in school like this guy used to be really nosy and I'd say "do you mind" and he'd say 'No I babysit, it pays better".

Or if someone was in your way you'd say 'you'd make a better door than a window'. LOL

I was also a fan of 'well Der'.
I've heard the following one which I think is pretty cool..and people can infer from it what they want. laugh

Question: Is he/she vaccinated?

Answer: He/she had all the vaccinations that he/she needs, thanks.


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