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Disability Rss

Hi girls,

this will be a bit long, and is quite deep smile so bear with me!!

i saw something yesterday that really warmed my heart, and i realised that it it would have regardless of this persons ability.

i was walking our dog and had DD in tow in our regional park and there was a disabled lad with his dad picking up rubbish (bless him!) they were all set for a long walk and had bags to put the rubbish in etc.

i am going to start a topic here that has a few facets and i am going to ask that people discus this topic in an open and non aggressive way...i will respect your beliefs and you respect mine.

i will also say i am a person that is for choice and whilst i might not agree with peoples choices sometimes when it comes to this topic, i accept that i am not in their position and that the choice is theirs.

so that said i often think of peoples opinions of disabled people and the reasons behind why people choose not to continue the pregnancy when they find out they are having a disabled child. and also peoples opinions of disabled people in general- i.e. some people feel that they are a drain on society, that nature "made a mistake" and so on.

i personally feel that a lot of things aside there is still such a stigma attached to having a disabled person in a family and wonder if the stats would be different if the stigma was diminished...

i have heard reasons such as medical expenses, staying at home to care for the child, special school costs etc, which are all valid in themselves, i wonder also however if people could take other tests during pregancy for other things (i am getting a bit "crystal ball" here grin ) would they also choose not to have that child?

such as if you knew your child would develop leukemia and need tens of thousands of dollars spent on them to help them through life would you still have that child? or if you could test for autism or deafness or random other disabilities that would cost you large amounts of money, mean you had to stay at home etc would you still choose to end the pregnancy?

i know this is all VERY general and is a sensitive topic, i am in no way trying to have a dig at anyone or cause any ill feeling. i just honestly would like to try and understand peoples reasoning, feelings etc.

the lad i saw yesterday was contributing to socirty, doing a job most people wouldn't just up and do. i also have a friend who works with disabled people and they work, they love, they chat over coffee with us and talk about the hot girl at work (simple jobs but they still do them- every working day of the week), about what happened on the train, about their families etc.

i feel they do provide, and whilst i know there are some people out there who are so disabled they cant contribute, i dont find them any different to some perfectly able person who chooses to sit on their behind and do nothing, claiming off the government and whiling away time.

sorry for the novel!!

so feel free to put in your opinion/ reason etc.

LHB

This topic is probably not going to end that well, you are very brave to bring up a topic like this wink

I do have very strong opinions about this topic and it is one that is very interesting to me also but I am unsure that this forum is ready to discuss this topic openly without collateral damage laugh

http://decadent-delights1.webnode.com/blog/
My blog, take a peek into my world


This topic is probably not going to end that well, you are very brave to bring up a topic like this wink

I do have very strong opinions about this topic and it is one that is very interesting to me also but I am unsure that this forum is ready to discuss this topic openly without collateral damage laugh



Umm.....yeah, what ^^^ said. grin


I have a brother who is disabled. It happened when he was born.

He is the most kindest, loving, helpful, trusting person and i would never ever swap him for anyone else.



This is a topic i really hope is stop.




I admire any parent who brings up a child with a disability. They, for the most part, do a fabulous job and are obviously very strong people. I grew up with a family friend who has Downs Syndrome and she was and still is absolutely gorgeous. She has a beautiful family who are very supportive and treat her like a perfectly normal human being - as she should be!!! I have been Nursing a man with Downs Syndrome a bit lately while he waits to be placed in a home (parents passed away and his brother in law was his care but can no longer cope). He is just gorgeous and gave me a kiss and big hug yesterday, the day before we had a dance and he sang 'You are my Sunshine' (I showed him a dancing duck in a plane toy that was singing it) lol, he is such a sweetie. So, yes there are plenty of people in our society with a disability that can make a meaningful contribution, there are others who have not been so lucky and I do wonder if they would have been better off if they were a terminated pregnancy. And, yeah that is a bloody horrible thing to say, but when you see the suffering of that person (and to a degree their family) it is cruel and you don't wish that suffering on anyone.

As for terminating pregnancy because you know that baby has a disability or illness, that is completely up to the parents involved and no-one else. I could not say for sure what I would do in that situation, and I have seen both sides of it. It is an individual thing and I think too hard to compare one case to the next and one illness/disability to the next. If it was me I wouldn't see it so much as a drain on society, or a mistake, or the cost factor to me (more that I wouldn't want my child to suffer more because I couldn't get the right support and needs for them due to the cost). My thoughts would be more about how the child would live, would it suffer, would it be fair to keep it alive and let it suffer etc etc. But, yeah....my decision on terminating - wouldn't know until I was actually faced with it.

hmmmm...

i guess what i am really aiming to discuss is more along the lines of stigma and does it play a role in decision making? or views?


i think its a bit sad that we cant discuss something a little philosophically without there being uproar...

i know that some women on here have opened their hearts and told some very moving and interesting stories and i can only admire them for it, no matter their stories.

i do not expect people to reveal all on this thread, or at any other time! smile

i really hope people can be open minded both ways and see through others eyes a little, even if it dosent change their opinion or view smile

and thanks for the bravery vote! grin
lol

LHB


hmmmm...

i guess what i am really aiming to discuss is more along the lines of stigma and does it play a role in decision making? or views?


i think its a bit sad that we cant discuss something a little philosophically without there being uproar...

i know that some women on here have opened their hearts and told some very moving and interesting stories and i can only admire them for it, no matter their stories.

i do not expect people to reveal all on this thread, or at any other time! smile

i really hope people can be open minded both ways and see through others eyes a little, even if it dosent change their opinion or view smile

and thanks for the bravery vote! grin
lol


I agree. It would be quite sad and pathetic if this could not be discussed with sensitivity and civility.

Then again this is Huggies isn't it...... :/

Does stigma play a part in decision making.... absolutely but how do we change social stigma towards people with disabilities when it is human nature to fear what we dont understand?

http://decadent-delights1.webnode.com/blog/
My blog, take a peek into my world


hmmmm...

i guess what i am really aiming to discuss is more along the lines of stigma and does it play a role in decision making? or views?


i think its a bit sad that we cant discuss something a little philosophically without there being uproar...

i know that some women on here have opened their hearts and told some very moving and interesting stories and i can only admire them for it, no matter their stories.

i do not expect people to reveal all on this thread, or at any other time! smile

i really hope people can be open minded both ways and see through others eyes a little, even if it dosent change their opinion or view smile

and thanks for the bravery vote! grin
lol



I totally agree, and I might come and be philosophical later.

I rarely shy away from 'controversial' topics because I worry about it turning into a war as I love a good debate/discussion. 4 years experience leaves me feeling frustrated though that these kind of topics do get heated and people do feel like they can't discuss them.



Does stigma play a part in decision making.... absolutely but how do we change social stigma towards people with disabilities when it is human nature to fear what we dont understand?



I think it has to do with experience and understanding!

I will rather ash ashamedly admit that before I met my fiend and her clients I was petrified of disabled people- I just plain old didn't understand... And had never had any contact over maybe a minute with a disabled person. They changed my view enormously, and thank goodness they did smile I feel more comfortable in myself because of my experience.

Also the medical world...I know of someone recently who was having a down syndrome child, she is in her mid 20's and was asked no less than 5(!!!!) times if she wanted to end the pregnancy. The last doctor told her that she was "young, able and did she want to be tied down with a DS child" to which she replied "you have my answer".

Right? Wrong? Of the doctor- why the need to ask 5 times? It's not a decision made lightly, surely 5 times is too much.

Now thats not to say all medical profesionals are so insisant, but where do you draw the line on bias?

Also people saying that adult people with disabilies don't/ can't contribute. I know of many more disabled people over the years that have contributed than 'normal people' in many cases.

Thanks for your input so far smile

LHB

I don't have much of an understanding of disabled people or disabilities. And i'll be 100% honest with you, there is a little bit of fear there. Ashamed to say that when ive been at the park with DS and saw a group of downs syndrome people with a couple of carers, I smiled politely but secretly prayed that they wouldn't stop or approach me. I wondered why there were only 2 carers to so many of them and worried they would get out of control or something? (Stupid I know) I don't harbour any nastiness at all, please don't get me wrong and I think there would be some great people out there. I can't even comprehend why I was afraid, I clearly am ingnorant. I suppose it is down to lack of knowlege and exposure to people with disabilities. I believe that there is a place for all people in this world whether imperfect or not. I truly am embarrassed by it now that ive written it down and hope I don't get slammed by it sad

DS - Nov 2008 & DD - Feb 2012

Don't feel silly at all! I believe it's really important for society to admit that there is fear, unfounded fear, but there none the less. There have to be steps for people (some not all, and by that I mean those like you and I who's fear came from lack of understanding) to take iodeon order to understand better, and identifying the reason behind your views and admiting it was a good place for me to start, and I imagine it would be for others too smile. I hope that makes sense!

I came to realise that they are normal in their own way, the same as everyone else. Do they live slightly different lives- you bet! But a lot of the fundamentals are the same.

I think the stigma has been around so long it's hard to shake, for example one organization only recently changed it's name from 'the spastic centre' now if you were the parent if a disabled child, who laughed and played and loved as much as any other, how would you feel about that tittle? And these are people there to help blink smile

LHB

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