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Which is more polite??? Lock Rss

At your children's birthday party is it more polite to open the presents infront of everyone and allow your children to instantly say thank you or is it better to leave the presents unopened and open them in private and then send out little thank you cards.

I have never been sure which is better. If you open them infront of people you can risk your child saying "i have that"(even though you beg them before not to say that!) or having a disappointed look on their face (i have taught my kids to always say thank you, its great - but sometimes you cant hide that look on their face that says otherwise). You also might have the problem of younger guests screaming and wanting to open them and play with them (we had that before, so after they were opened i put them in another room).

If you open them in private you can avoid all those dramas but some people then dont feel like their gift was received properly.

What do you think???Which is better? Does it make a difference if the party is at your home or at a venue (ie maccas).

At your children's birthday party is it more polite to open the presents infront of everyone and allow your children to instantly say thank you or is it better to leave the presents unopened and open them in private and then send out little thank you cards.

I have never been sure which is better. If you open them infront of people you can risk your child saying "i have that"(even though you beg them before not to say that!) or having a disappointed look on their face (i have taught my kids to always say thank you, its great - but sometimes you cant hide that look on their face that says otherwise). You also might have the problem of younger guests screaming and wanting to open them and play with them (we had that before, so after they were opened i put them in another room).

If you open them in private you can avoid all those dramas but some people then dont feel like their gift was received properly.

What do you think???Which is better? Does it make a difference if the party is at your home or at a venue (ie maccas).


If its at a venue then I'd prefer presents not be opened for fear of losing them or bits of them if its a set of something or small things where pieces could get lost - and if its at home then its up to DD but generally speaking the kids are so swept up with their friends and birthday activities that all presents get put onto a table and are opened after the party finishes. If you have 16 kids at a party then your child could spend a substantial amount of the party opening and playing with gifts when you have other activities planned like party games, birthday cake etc so to me it makes more sense to open them once the party is finished. You want them focussing on the festivities and spending the time with their friends - not with their gifts.

My DDs thank the person who gave them the gift when they hand it to them and I always thank the parents as well when they come to pick their kids up.
so far ive only been to parties at play centres etc and presents have been taken home to unwrap. kids have limited time to play and i would rather they played than spent a lot of time unwraping presents. most parents seem to do the same

mum to one goregous boy

Ahh this is something that upsets me! I keep going to kids parties where they open the presents after we leave (so it must be the done thing) but in my eyes, it's rude sad

I shop for ages, put so much thought into the presents for kids (or adults really) and don't see the best part! I don't always get the right gift for my nephews (I see that look or hear "I've got that already!!) but doesn't matter, 9 times out of ten I've done well and see them stoked and dying to play with the toy! I've given gifts, not seen them unwrapped and have never even been told from the parents that they loved it, hated it, played with it, whatever sad

I remember opening my presents and having to thank everyone individually for their gift, which I still do lol

I will say I understand if it's at Maccas or public, not opening presents make sense!








Ahh this is something that upsets me! I keep going to kids parties where they open the presents after we leave (so it must be the done thing) but in my eyes, it's rude sad

I shop for ages, put so much thought into the presents for kids (or adults really) and don't see the best part! I don't always get the right gift for my nephews (I see that look or hear "I've got that already!!) but doesn't matter, 9 times out of ten I've done well and see them stoked and dying to play with the toy! I've given gifts, not seen them unwrapped and have never even been told from the parents that they loved it, hated it, played with it, whatever sad

I remember opening my presents and having to thank everyone individually for their gift, which I still do lol

I will say I understand if it's at Maccas or public, not opening presents make sense!


To me I give a gift I hope the child will like and am happy to be thanked, it's not about me, it's their day and is about them. I'm talking a 5 year olds party which runs for two hours - there is simply not time for them to open 16 odd gifts and play with them AND enjoy the party festivities, i'd rather my kids enjoy playing with their friends than sat there playing with their gifts. My kids and I thank everyone for gifts and for attending, to me it would be rude if they busied themselves with the presents rather than play with their friends ( do the party games etc).

To me I give a gift I hope the child will like and am happy to be thanked, it's not about me, it's their day and is about them. I'm talking a 5 year olds party which runs for two hours - there is simply not time for them to open 16 odd gifts and play with them AND enjoy the party festivities, i'd rather my kids enjoy playing with their friends than sat there playing with their gifts. My kids and I thank everyone for gifts and for attending, to me it would be rude if they busied themselves with the presents rather than play with their friends ( do the party games etc).


Fair point but it doesn't take long- took dd (with help from the other kids lol) no more than half hour or so and all the kids seemed to love looking at the stuff too grin

I'm not making it about me, just thought it was common courtesy but like I said, everyone seems to be doing it the other way so maybe I'm wrong tongue







I hate opening presents in front of other people...
BUT I get made to do it all the time...

ME - 23
DH - 25

Miss Willow


Keeping fit and healthy in pregnancy!!

I hate it when gifts are all opened and made a big show of, ive been to some where its part of the party 'schedule'. I think its unfair in some cases where some presents may not be as good as others in terms of what parents can afford and dont think its fair for it to be displayed for all to see. Our gifts are opened as they arive in front of the bearers only or put away till later if the kids are busy playing.
Its so tricky isnt it??? I can see all points and it raises a good discussion. I have never know which is the 'right' thing to do, which is why i wrote the post. Its great to get others honest perspectives as mums so I can try to do the right thing!

Tallulah I can completely see your point. I too have spent time picking out the right gift, to then only wonder if it was a great gift to the little girl! We went to a maccas party last month and gave a fab gift. The mum was too busy to see us give it to the little girl, who then added it to the pile. I wondered if the tag got mixed up or if they even knew it was from us as nothing was ever said about it afterward.It was an awesome gift!

I agree tho, that my 6 year olds party is 1 and half hours long at at a venue and i would rather him play with the boys coming and valuing the time at the centre (its pricey there!). I also agree, pieces could get lost/broken easily, which would be a shame! I also agree that some parents give "bigger" gifts than others and it could upset parents who have chosen a nice simple gifts.

I guess its finding that happy medium. To make the giver feel like their effort is valued. Sometimes I send friends (the mums) a text with a photo of my sons playing with the item and say how much they love it. I think i will get little thankyou cards for my son to write after the party highlighting he loved the individual gift.. I would also be a good lesson for him to show gratitude. It is a tough one! Thanks girls for your opinions!
I'm another one that likes to see the gifts opened at the time but I can see where there can be time constraints preventing that. I think IF thank you notes were sent/given then at least the giver would have their gift acknowledged but that seems to be a thing of the past. We always open and make a fuss of pressies that DD is given, I consider it part of teaching manners and appreciating the efforts other people make.

i went to a 5 year old party and he opened the gifts as they were given to him. he unwraped our gift and literally looked at it then just droped it on the floor and ran off to play. i felt sorry for my son as he saw that and it upset him. i put alot of thought into it. i asked my son to find out what he liked and it wasn't cheap. there was no thank you , nothing.

to me the most important thing is that there is a thank you, wheather they like it or not is a hit or miss really.

so even if they don't open it in front of you but say thank you when they recieve it i think that's good enough.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

i think im in the minority sad

I think its manners to open the present in front of the giver and say thank-you.

i do agree that at venues its understandable, but i like to see the kids face when they open it

in saying that, we mainly have bbq's for birthday parties and open the presents from a person as soon as they arrive, then say thanks, then they put it away until the party is over. it takes about a minute per guest, so the children still have time to play.

What i hate is when kids come up to you when you arrive, say wheres my present then take it then open it then you never see them again for the party, i think that is rude.





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