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  5. Is this normal 9yr old behaviour? Lol

Is this normal 9yr old behaviour? Lol Lock Rss

So as alot of you know I regularly look after my 9yo sister so that my parents can work, anyways, everytime she is here whenever my DD (who is nearly 4) needs to go the toilet my sister always stands there and watches her, usually there is no conversation she just watches her... I always say please let DD go to the toilet by herself she doesn't need to be watched and things along those lines but she keeps on doing it... Today she was even in the actual toilet with the door shut while DD was doing a poo...

Is this normal behaviour? I don't know it just seems hmm weird? to me! I am always polite and explain myself properly when I ask her not to do it but she still does...

Any ideas or input? Am I thinking too much of it?

Thanks grin

I really don't think it's normal.
And I really think you should be careful with it. Something is going on that she wants/needs to watch that.
Personally I'd be immensely worried.


Thanks for your reply, I am actually quite concerned but I'm not really sure how best to handle the situation unsure

I know that if I mentioned it to mum she wouldn't take it seriously and would just tell my sister not to do it again which is what I've done countless times...
I think 9 years is old enough to understand what boundaries are. I would be sitting her down for a proper talk.

Sucks that your mum isn't likely to take this seriously. But I would be mentioning it to her regardless. Then she can never claim ignorance further down the track if you know what I mean.

Have you asked your sister why she feels the need to watch your DD go to the toilet?
She doesnt't have any problems or anything, she is actually a really smart kid and does the gifted students program at her school. There is one weird thing that she does though and that is that she HAS to be wearing a minimum of 3 tight singlets under her top and she also wear knickers then a pair of small tight shorts then another pair and then her normal pants... That is the only odd thing about her that I can think of...

I haven't asked her as such why she watches DD I just tell her not to do it and that DD doesn't need her there. The incident today though when she was actually in the toilet with the door shut worries me...

Sometimes her and DD have a shower together (we have a double shower) and when she is here she always helps DD choose her clothes and get dressed (not that she needs help putting clothes on but will accept help.

I am sure she understands about privacy and all that, as I said she is a smart kid, this is just well bizarre to me, and it's every time DD goes to the toilet not just every once in awhile... I don't know what to do sad
sounds like something isnt processing for her... if a child at school told me that somebody was watching them in the toilet as a 9 yr old I would be worried. if they are little however it is just observing behaviour and learning and curiosity. i would bring it up again with your mum and if not her teacher??
sounds like something isnt processing for her... if a child at school told me that somebody was watching them in the toilet as a 9 yr old I would be worried. if they are little however it is just observing behaviour and learning and curiosity. i would bring it up again with your mum and if not her teacher??

She needs to cover her body excessively.........
With many layers of clothing........
And seems to enjoy/need to watch your little child go to the toilet.........
She hasn't has anyone touch her has she?


Not that I am aware of blink

I was asking her today (as I always do) why she has to wear so many singlets and her response is always 'I don't know I just have to' then I said what would happen if you didn't wear one and she said she would scream...

It seems so weird to me, I can't exactly ask her if something has happened to her, i don't think that would go down well, ughhh this sucks sad


I am sure she understands about privacy and all that, as I said she is a smart kid, this is just well bizarre to me, and it's every time DD goes to the toilet not just every once in awhile... I don't know what to do sad

I would say just go with your gut. If you think deep down that it is harmless then maybe it is. Maybe she just thinks she is being helpful to your DD, in the same way she helps her choose her clothes ya know?
But if it unsettles you then you gotta do something about it. set the record straight - be a bit harder on her when she does it. discipline her if you have to. Your DD has the right to privacy when she is using the toilet.

I would say just go with your gut. If you think deep down that it is harmless then maybe it is. Maybe she just thinks she is being helpful to your DD, in the same way she helps her choose her clothes ya know?
But if it unsettles you then you gotta do something about it. set the record straight - be a bit harder on her when she does it. discipline her if you have to. Your DD has the right to privacy when she is using the toilet.


See, I don't think that she is doing it to be helpful, she is well aware that DD has been using the toilet by herself for almost a year and doesn't need any help...

I think I will mention it to my mum, maybe she will take me seriously for a change <img src='https://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />
I agree with what skippy said in her first reply.

I know little master doesn't like anyone watch apart from me & hubby.





She needs to cover her body excessively.........
With many layers of clothing........
And seems to enjoy/need to watch your little child go to the toilet.........
She hasn't has anyone touch her has she?



This was my impression too. It's a scary thought, but if it has happened it needs to be dealt with quickly an delicately. All kids have their quirks and it may be innocent, but it really does ring alarm bells.

I wouldn't ask her straight out... she's likely to recoil and she'll be on her guard after that. I had a really good info sheet on talking to kids in these situations, I'll see if I can dig it up for you.


See, I don't think that she is doing it to be helpful, she is well aware that DD has been using the toilet by herself for almost a year and doesn't need any help...

I think I will mention it to my mum, maybe she will take me seriously for a change

prob a good place to start smile
If she doesn't listen to you there are other people you can talk to... like pp said - her teacher, maybe your gp could offer some guidance also. Don't know if you are in Aus or NZ but in NZ there is citizens advice bureau, or the families commission(if not in NZ I'm sure there are similiar things in Aus) for advice. Sounds like it could be kind of a delicate situation.

GL hun. Hope this situation gets better.
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