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What would you do... Rss

What would you do if someone in your life was refusing to use your child's name?

I'm not sure if I am over reacting about this, but a family member never calls my DS by his name. Not while she is talking to him or about him, she always says 'the baby' or 'little one'. I know its natural to use terms of endearment when referring to a baby or child but I have actually never heard her use his name. It just kind of seems disrespectful, like she doesn't think he is a real person.

So I've kind of had enough. Its really bothering me. - close to the point of saying 'DS is a PERSON with a NAME can you use it please'. (well this is what I say when I am imagining telling her off in my head lol)

So am I over reacting about this? What would you do? Say something or just let it lie?

Any suggestions on how to tackle this would be much appreciated. Don't mind if you disagree with me just need some opinions smile
just wanted to add it is a very normal, not difficult to pronounce name smile
There is no reason either why she shouldn't like the name. especially as she is catholic and the name is biblical.
My grandfather does that to my brother and my son.

My mother and i both say "his name is ....." his excuse is that he is old and cant remeber all the grandkids names (he has 17, and only 3 of them are girls) but he never says my daughters name either, so i think its just to annoy us.

After we tell him what they're names are, he just doesnt call them anything, just walks up to them and says what he has to say.

Just remind her what her name is and see how it goes.

good luck





Thanks, yeah I wonder if it is sometimes just to annoy me! Its my MIL, so that'd be right. I didn't want to discuss names with her (we didn't discuss names with anyone) before DS was born so I wonder if this is my punishment lol.

I don't know if she is just simply forgetting because she wont write it in cards and emails either.
She calls her other grandchildren by their names.

She drives me crazy anyway but this is just one more thing. Its hard to know what is a problem and what is just me over reacting because I am angry with her anyway. iykwim.
If it's your MIL I'm sure she's doing it to annoy you - isn't that what they're there for? smile
There's really no excuse, when I had our twin DSs they were always referred to as 'the boys' and 'the twins', we'd always say their names and although respect that some people have trouble telling the difference in them, remind them that they are individuals.
I agree with Tutu&Lulu, but I'd have my DH ask her jokingly one day 'don't you remember his name Mum?'... 'you never say it'...
he won't be in any where near as much 'trouble' with her as what you possibly would be - just an insight into my relationship with MIL, good luck smile
good advice. If I say something she will know that she got to me lol and in her eyes DF can do no wrong.

Thanks, yeah I wonder if it is sometimes just to annoy me! Its my MIL, so that'd be right. I didn't want to discuss names with her (we didn't discuss names with anyone) before DS was born so I wonder if this is my punishment lol.

I don't know if she is just simply forgetting because she wont write it in cards and emails either.
She calls her other grandchildren by their names.

She drives me crazy anyway but this is just one more thing. Its hard to know what is a problem and what is just me over reacting because I am angry with her anyway. iykwim.


Is your ds her youngest grand child? Maybe she is starting to think she isn't going to see many more grand kids and wants to keep your ds as "the baby" iykwim? Like my friend has two kids and decided she doesn't want any more. Her dd is 9 months old and crawling and standing and she said to me the other day sometimes she feels sad that her dd seems to be growing up so quick and she misses the "baby-ness" because she wont get that again.

Maybe mil feels similar? She might feel he's growing up so quick and doesn't want to miss having a baby in her life?




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

My BIL & SIL call our kids that kid or that baby. We cut them out of our lives so it won't hurt my kids anymore.

Maybe when you're MIL says the baby or something just say your baby name. That what i did with my BIL before we cut them out.




I agree with the other post, it usually takes a few months for people to start using their name properly.
Hi there smile

Sorry to hear you are still having MIL problems roll eyes

That would annoy me also, especially if she calls hers other grandkids by their names...

I agree with pp, it's always best if your DF can say something, so you are not the bad guy...but if that doesn't work...maybe say (in a friendly voice wink ) 'that's not my name, my name is ***' smile

I find if i say things from my dd's point of view, they take it more seriously (or at least don't argue back...lol). Like the other day, my bil's girlfriend was giving dd a cuddle, and she wanted to get down to crawl so started squirming around to get down. She didn't let her go, so dd started to cry. Girlfriend then said 'oh don't be such a whinging ninny'...so i said 'oh leave me alone, i just wanted to get down to crawl'. and she put her down, and dd was happy smile If i had of said something from my point of view, normally she/they would have told me that im too overprotective and it's good for babys to cry etc etc and just get up and walk off with her... roll eyes

It sounds silly now i read it back...haha...but it works smile

Hope this all makes sense...and I hope things start to get better soon smile
Well my DS is 6.5 months and I still refer to him as the baby.......

Personally it wouldn't bother me! smile
Maybe get a tshirt or sticker with hello my name is......... for him to wear when they visit? lol
It would pi$$ me off too, members of DH's family used to call DD 'the baby' or their own version of her name. They would never call her by her name, I lost it one day and said her name is ........ please call her by it!

Theres no excuse for anyone not to use his name, are they going to call him the baby when he's 5?
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