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Forcing a friendship Lock Rss

DD goes to school in 2014 and there is a little girl who we know,she lives near us and we see them aRound at some point most days and sometimes we have Play dates but She is really mean to DD with hitting , not sharing and tells DD to go away all the time.

She is going to the same school as DD and maybe will be in the same prep class and her mum is insisting we have to get them together more often so they are good friends and will help both settle in school easier being close friends knowing each other.

The problem is DD has given up trying to be her friend as she keePs getting rejected and when I ask her if she would like to go and play with "m" she says "no thanks mummy , she's mean and not my friend". She really has nothing In common with this girl .

DD also has a really good little friend who she does activities with, regularly plays with and they are really good together but unfortunately they are going to different schools, the said little girl "m" sees them together and we try to get them all to play together but "m" is mean to them both, they are a little bit older .

Both us mums have totally different parenting styles , where as "m's" is like "that's ok if you want to be mean and don't want to share your toys , they are yours but no one will want to play with you"
Where as I am like " mummy buys toys for you and to share with your friends so if u don't want to share them mummy will take them off you" which works with DD .

I know "m" will be a bit older but do I force DD to be friends with a child she doesn't want to be friends with just because they are going the same school where they will make little friends anyway who they have things in common with?
Hi,

I do know how you feel. When my daughter was 6 weeks old I went to mothers group and I was lucky and made friends with some great people. When our kids started to get older we all had different parenting styles. The all would play but one was the mean kid and one was the quite kids. Mind you neither were mine. As the kids got older we all started to talk about schools. One one of the other kids went to school with my daughter. It was the shy kids. They know each other at school but don't really play with each other. Mind you he is a boy and I have a daugher. They were also put into different classes. The parent of the mean child was quite adament that she wanted the friendship to continue between my daughter and her daughter. In the end my daughter would say the same thing . I don't want to play with her as she is mean. I then distanced myself from her and now we don't catch up. In my opinion not a bad thing. My daughter went to child care and she went to school with a few children that she was friends with at child care but is not friendly with them now at school. They will make friends with who they want to make friends with and sometimes not the ones you would like. But that's life. You just have to go with the flow. They all settle differently and having friends at school may or may not help. You need to do what is right for you and your child not someone elses.

Sorry this is s long post.

Good luck. My twins will start school in 2014 as well.


No, i would not be forcing this friendship on my child. It sounds like the other little girl probably not someone your little girl would be friends with at school anyway.

My little girl goes to prep next year and will not know anyone in her grade (her brother does go there too but is a few years older). Im not at all worried because i know she can easily make friends and she will make friends with the nice children, not the ones who are likely to bully her.
If it were me I wouldn't force it. I hate confrontation so I would tend to just be 'busy' when she wants to arrange play dates. Kids make friends easily so I don't think it matters if she doesn't have 'friends' before she starts.

My DS is at daycare and there is one little boy that is mean (pushes the kids, takes the toys they are playing with etc - all in an attention seeking way) and my DS always tells him to go away. I certainly wouldn't be arranging play dates with that kid!
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