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Need some help maing a decision Lock Rss

I desperately want to study miwifery. My original goal was to apply for uni 2013!

However, my husband isn't in a huge paying job. Our finances will be super tight. I have contemplated getting a night job as well as studying part time (which I will need to attend uni) and raisng three children. This is scary to me, and I don't want my children to suffer with me being so busy.

Now I'm starting to feel selfish and if that I shouldn't think about studying. It will be hard financially therefor be harder for our family.

What should i do. Follow my dream of midwifery and struggle for a few years or put it on the back burner and concntrate more on my family and finances and get myself a prt time job to bring some more money in??
here is my suggestion. Sit down first with hubby and talk about it. Put your finances on paper. See how he feels then after you have both had a discusison include the kids. Personally i do not see you as selfish for wanting to advance yourself - life has a way of making us want things . But yes you are right in that your family needs including in whatever decision is made. Let me know what you plan to do and good luck what ever decision you make
I know you can't do midwifey online but I know that you can do a nursing course through Open Universities Australia. It's all done online so you dont have to attend classes. It can be a little harder than normal university but its worth it. You have 10 years to complete the course and the only outgoing expenses are your textbooks. You don't have to repay you HECS fees until you earn over 48,000 a year. Im doing several courses through Open Uni and its fantastic as I still get to spend time with my kids and hubby without worry about the cost.
I say do it part time. You will continue to feel this way until you do. If it gets too much for you or you cant finance it you can always defer it til the next semester or even the next year.

Quote from rafters: "short term pain for long time gain!" tongue

The smartest decision I ever made was to do my nursing. I wont lie - it was the toughest 3 years of my life in terms of being busy and trying get everything done. I studied full time and took a job from my second year onward. Dd was 12 months old when I started. I imagine 3 kids would be difficult but its doable part time. Having this under my belt has eased our financial strain no end. Before this bubs came I was still only working 3 shifts a week, but even that little bit allowed us to get way ahead. We now have a house of our own which I thought would never happen but here we are.

It's physically and mentally difficult. But if you set your sights on it and be determined it gives you the biggest sense of achievement. I did it not for me, but for my family and to improve our life, and that thought is what got me through.




Oh and Btw, when you've finished one year of study (the full time load) you can get a job as an assistant in midwifery. It's good money - the same rate as an en! I worked as an assistant in nursing from year 2 onwards and the extra experience really helped me with my studies too.




I think you really need to decide what's more important to you, studying or working part time. I could be reading it wrong, but take it you're not working part time now. And if you can manage financially without working now, then I'm sure you'd manage not working while you're studying. Your hubby needs to be involved in the decision because it will be almost impossible to study with 3 kids without his support. I finished my study before my 3rd was born, but couldn't have done it without support from hubby to take the kids out when my assignments were due.
It is a sacrifice but so worth it. Also depends on the age your kids IMO and how they can manage without you while you're in class or on pracs.

If you think you can make do financially for a year, while you get started with the study, then I would start. If not and you need the income, then why not start working and then see how you feel about adding study to you load in a few months.

Good luck with the decision.
I think there always have to be some give in this kind of situation. You would need to accept that your kids would probably miss out a bit, as you would get stressed and be absent from their lives sometimes. If you are willing to accept that and find some kind of middle ground, then go for it! I study and my partner studies. I study by night and I take my baby son to uni once a week when I meet with my teachers and my partner cares for the other kids. I study all material at home on my own at night and then discuss it all with them on this one day. If it were any other way, I would not be willing to put my kids into childcare or expect them to play alone while I tried to study, I would not want them sensing my anxiety if I was struggling and I would not want to be doing work placement when they were young. But I think if you just think about the actual situation then you can decide what you want to happen and what you are willing to compromise.
Studying while you have small kids can add an enormous amount of pressure on you, hour husband and your kids. I too would love to study and become a midwife but have decided to put it off until my kids are at school. I studied nursing while my ds was a baby and it was really hard on me and dh not only financially but emotionally as well. At the time i didnt have a husband who supported what i was doing and no family to help me with watching my son when it came to clinicals (and couldnt get him into daycare for them either so it was really expensive to pay a babysitter for those times) I just hecs's the course fees, but then still had to find money for textbooks and everything else that you needed.

If i was to study now, i would have to do it part time, there is no way i would want to do it full time as i would miss out on way too much of there lives.
r u in nz??

i know massey uni does midwifery extramurally. u could do it part time. only thing is u have to go to the uni to do practical work a couple of time during the semester.
I am doing Bachelor of teaching and learning early childhood, full time, via distance at the moment. Started on campus at the start of last year when DS2 was just short of 3 months old. We live in Chch and even with the earthquakes we had disrupting everything, plus working part time I made it through with mainly A-'s, my worse mark was a B-. I am currently pregnant with DS3, and trying to work out how to juggle semester 2 with a new born.

DH is not in a good paying job, we have enough to pay the bills etc and not a lot left over. But after much discussion we decided it was going to be the best thing for our family as when I graduate I should be able to get a reasonably good job. I will admit the boys go to daycare during the day, but the evenings before bed and the weekends are their time. We spend quite a bit of time at the park, feeding the ducks, baking, mucking round in the garden etc on the weekends and my study doesn't get touched.

It seems to be working ok for us at present, I will say distance study has been better for me then being on campus as at least if the boys are sick or have an appointment it doesn't affect my study, course attendance etc, as some papers have minimum attendance requirements when you are on campus.

Definitely sit down with your DH and work out a strict budget and determine whether you can afford to do the studying or not first.

Maybe consider doing it part time? Even with distance education and nursing, there are a certain amount of practicals that you need to complete in a hospital/nursing home/mental health setting. So you would need to take that into account as well.

I completed my BA Nursing pre kiddies but I went thru Uni with some other mummie's. One was even a single mum who had her parents babysitting for her while she completed her degree.

If it's something that you really want to do and your DH is also on board with it, then I say go for it.

Good luck with your decision smile





Thanks so much for all your advice and suggestions smile

Bit more info...

I am in SA and have to attend uni, they dont offer it correspondence. I would do part time, so uni 2 days a week. On these days my son will be in school, my daughter in kindy and my youngest will spend one day with one nanna and the other day with his other nanna.

I am worried more financially, the kids missing out on things due to low funds. Studying and working part time don't seem like an option to me as I feel I wouldn't be able to be there for my children enough.

So I guess the question is .... do i study and the family struggle for a few years financially....or put it on hold until a later date, which I also worry about as the kids are only going to need more financial support as they grow.

I might not get in anyway which will ultimately make the decision for me wink
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