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friendship? Lock Rss


Wow, it does seem like a bit of a pickle, and they are family too so it can be tricky.

I'd just start saying 'no' or 'can't do it' every second time they ask to meet up then increase it bit by bit. just enough to increase the difference but not too much to cause friction. It's a fine line you'll be walking but maybe even use the reason of having a family night where it's just you, hubby and the kids enjoying some quality time. Say you read it in a magazine and want to give it a go for a few weeks. that should give you a start. It's such a hard situation to be in, especially if you know they could flip out at any time and just shun you again, and who's to say they aren't 'getting things off their chest' about you guys to other friends?
I had a similar situation with a friend a few years ago, I had asked her to be maid of honour at my wedding, things were going well but she and her family had some health issues and she was always cancelling on me for everything to do with the wedding. I tried to speak to her about maybe just being regular bridesmaid so she could still be in the wedding and she flipped and told me where to stick it and we haven't spoken since.
I hope your situation doesn't end this way and you can return to some normalcy without too much conflict. Good Luck.


Oooh, that's a hard one!

I'd do what pp have said, and start saying no to them - in a very nice way of course. I don't like to lie, and hate being lied to, but there are some people out there that just can't handle the truth, and little white lies here and there are the only way to keep us sane.

I hope you can sort all this out without them completely suffocating you with "kindness". Good luck.
Sounds like some people I know - great while you're "in" but when you fall "out" it's like WW3! And it sounds like the way they tend to go through their friends/family that it's really only a matter of time before it happens to you again - probably why you want to distance yourself (and with good reason too!).

It does also seem however, that no matter what you do, the guy is going to go off his nut anyway so why worry about how you go about it? At least this time you'll have been the one calling the shots!

I have no advice for how to proceed, but I do hope things work out as you would like. Good luck! smile

I'm sorry, I just noticed your youngest is so new! congrats, but definitely use the new bubba as an excuse to distance yourselves. So it's not a lie but a half truth...

good luck!

Oh this is a hard one.

If you don't want to see them just say your not up for vistors and say the baby having a few little problems that you will like to set settled before you have vistors over.

If your worried that they will turn on you, they not worth having around you. Doesn't matter if they family or not. If they don't like hearing your reason it not your problem.

People don't like to be told the truth or what their wishes, trust me it feels better when you do tell them how you want things.

Sounds exactly like DF's old best mate.

his now wife decided wen she and her sil both fell pregnant that the sil was trying to steal the attention from her. so launched an all out war on her sil and made up really horrible rumours.

and DF and i got caught up in it as we were friends with both of them. because i told them what i thought of the situation and told them i dont want to listen to them rubbishing the sil as she was also my mate. so DF's mate especially started being quite nasty to me.

they do this to their friends all the time. couple of years ago they done it to their other mates who they are now friends with again.

they always seem like there has to be some1 on the outside.

now DF and i are really good friends with the sil and her DF. cause hismate pushed us away and now they trying to come back and be all buddy buddy.

but it wont last long its only cause Df has a good job n stuff n his mate just uses him for money. which Df has now realised.

i think just slowly stop spending as much time with them and if they start bitching about some1 just change the subject or politely say that ur not interested in listening to that.
maybe try and spend some time with ur cousin without her DH n mayb dont confide things in her like u used to as they might try and use it against u.
Honesty and bluntness would be the best thing in this situation I think..
When they come around, sit them down and tell them that you are not interested in a friendship with them if it's going to turn all dramatic.
Let them know that if anything like that begins, you're just going to close the door, turn off the phone and disengage with it, because you are just not interested and have far more important things to worry about, like your children..

Sounds like he's very childish and disruptive!
And not someone I'd like to have around.....

I've come to the realisation that if you're not happy, or you have certain expectations from people (realistic of course), then you need to put it out there and have them know what you will and won't put up with...
Particularly at this time when you're all trying to adjust with a new baby..
Just not what you need right now...

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