Huggies Forum

The Huggies Forum is closed for new replies and topics, you can still read older topics.

do u feel guilty? Lock Rss

so we a DS whos just over 7months. We were going to wait abit before having more kids as i wanted to go back to uni and finish my degree whic i only have one semester left to do.
but we have moved from chch to hamilton and i have to go back to chch to finish it as the uni doesnt do correspondance and waikato doesnt do the degree im doing.
so at the moment i am not able to finish my degree without living apart from DF for 6months which we dont want to do.
i was talking to his mum about it and she said we need to decide if we want to build our family and i can go back to uni in a few years once we've decided if we want to stay in hamilton or return to chch.
and i was thinking about having another baby and realised i would feel guilty having another baby i dont know if im explaining this right.
but i just thought i would as DS is young and so used to all the attention lol i know hed get used to having a baby brother or sister and would be great once the baby was older and could play together.
im prob just being silly. and i am really excited to have more kids and want to have a big family.
so my question is did any of u ladies feel guilty?
I would feel guilty which is why I am waiting untill my little girl is 2 before trying for another baby that would mean she would be 3 by the time the new baby arrives smile But that is just me some mums dont even wait a year before having another one.
i think you have to ask yourself do you see yourself going back to finish the degree with 2 kids, if you did go ahead and had another one.
do you see yourself being motivated enough. Yes it is 6 months away which would be very hard but if you decided to go for the baby first it might be a couple of years till you can go back to uni to finish it.
would it be harder to finish it now or in two or three years time with more on your plate.
It doesnt matter what gap you have Hun you will always feel that tad of guilt I did when we got pregnant when dd1 was 21 months old I felt bad that te attention would soon not be all on her and it scared me her feeling left out but she now doesn't no life any different and that I suppose is the beaut of having them fairly close they aren't going to remember any resentment that they may of have for the baby, my 3 are pretty good now together and we are planning number 4 and yep that guilt is back but not as bad smile
That guilt is always there. 5 years between our two and I feel that guilt more than ever! My dd has been a bit more sensitive since bub and more attention seeking. I feel like we've tipped life upside down for her and feel awful when I'm feeding or doing something with bub - and she asks me to help with something & I have to say not right now. She hasn't showed any signs of jealousy toward bub which is great, but she looks offended quite regularly when I can't be with her. But its early days and I know she'll get there.

As for your uni... I agree with others that it'll be much harder with more kids. I too would never move away from dh though so I understand why you are having trouble with this.




i think it def would be harder to study with more kids but i also think it would put too much of a strain on our relationship being away from each other for that long. and we wouldnt be able to c each other very much as we cant afford the flights.
im not sure what i will do about it yet but i did tell DF that i wanted to finish it in the next couple of years when we decided to move.
i dont think he every really thought that i would actually go back without him though and by the looks of it we'll be staying up here as hes really happy.
This is a long shot but have you asked about wether Massey university does it via correspondence at all. They may do it and just require that you travel to Auckland once a month to do a practical day.

http://decadent-delights1.webnode.com/blog/
My blog, take a peek into my world

This is a long shot but have you asked about wether Massey university does it via correspondence at all. They may do it and just require that you travel to Auckland once a month to do a practical day.

http://decadent-delights1.webnode.com/blog/
My blog, take a peek into my world

thanks Dansally

I have looked into massey they do my degree but it looks like most of the papers are internal. need to look at where they are aswell which i forgot to do lol.
i am goin to do 1 paper next semester with massey by correspondance.

i think once DS is abit older i will look at if i can go to auckland or somthing to finish it.
Sign in to follow this topic