Huggies Forum

so who watched 60 minutes? Rss


How amazing is her son though. Even as a child he was trying to tell her that what she was doing was wrong - even if it was in a somewhat aggressive way or by mimicking her. And now as an adult he can articulate those feelings so well. I don't know how that mother can live with herself hearing those things - and still defends her actions.


I totally agree, good on him.

The lady reminds me of my mum. The way she dismissed everything he said - wasn't even listening. My mum will never listen to anything, she is too defensive. It is not a good thing to be a parent like that - you can never improve your parenting! The way she can live with it - the thought never even goes into her consciousness that it was wrong - she just doesn't let it in.

How amazing is her son though. Even as a child he was trying to tell her that what she was doing was wrong - even if it was in a somewhat aggressive way or by mimicking her. And now as an adult he can articulate those feelings so well. I don't know how that mother can live with herself hearing those things - and still defends her actions.

Thats what stood out to me I thought that was fantastic.




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)


The kids never said that? I thought the girl just said her mum didn't hit her, when questioned.

Thay guy - why would you grab her leg and hold it up in the air to smack her to stop her "going crazy"? - seems like a completely fabricated story. Why would a kid just suddenly start doing that? And why would you hold her up by the leg and smack her? Holding her up by the leg would have already stopped her surely?

Oh, maybe thats what I mean.

They did say she had been a out of control kid. To me it came across as the family had been going through hell and it all just came to a head one night. But then I think of how hard he would have had to have hit for the mark to still be there the next day.

I dunno, like I said id like more info and less bias info.




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)


Oh, maybe thats what I mean.

They did say she had been a out of control kid. To me it came across as the family had been going through hell and it all just came to a head one night. But then I think of how hard he would have had to have hit for the mark to still be there the next day.

I dunno, like I said id like more info and less bias info.


Oh okay, my take on that was that she had been an out of control kid - ie that one time. I only saw it once as well so can't be sure either way smile The guy has to save face and many people would do the same thing if they were caught out (whether for the fact that its illegal or immoral I don't know). I don't get why he feels so wronged? He lost it and smacked a child that left a mark - why should he get an apology?

Some kids do have really sensitive skin, I bruise at virtually nothing - but any smack is surely violent?
What I mean by torn is that I think the Melbourne mums parenting is morally wrong, but I wouldn't say its child abuse. Yes its not nice seeing that, but I was smacked as a child too and although I dislike how my parents did things I don't feel I was abused. There's still a line where its a more extreme way to parent versus abusive. The kids are still happy and seem confident enough, and I have no doubt that mother loves her kids. It's certainly not how I parent and I certainly don't agree with it but I think those kids will turn out fine. Hopefully they will parent their own children differently...

I think you'll find that there are many many parents that raise their kids exactly the same in Australia. There needs to be more information provided for alternatives to smacking. It seems as though parents don't know how else to do it.





What I mean by torn is that I think the Melbourne mums parenting is morally wrong, but I wouldn't say its child abuse. Yes its not nice seeing that, but I was smacked as a child too and although I dislike how my parents did things I don't feel I was abused. There's still a line where its a more extreme way to parent versus abusive. The kids are still happy and seem confident enough, and I have no doubt that mother loves her kids. It's certainly not how I parent and I certainly don't agree with it but I think those kids will turn out fine. Hopefully they will parent their own children differently...

I think you'll find that there are many many parents that raise their kids exactly the same in Australia. There needs to be more information provided for alternatives to smacking. It seems as though parents don't know how else to do it.


I agree. But im on the edge of it being a question of wether we need to change what is socially accepted.

Parenting is hard work, there is no quick fix, its from birth till death no short cuts.




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)


Oh okay, my take on that was that she had been an out of control kid - ie that one time. I only saw it once as well so can't be sure either way smile The guy has to save face and many people would do the same thing if they were caught out (whether for the fact that its illegal or immoral I don't know). I don't get why he feels so wronged? He lost it and smacked a child that left a mark - why should he get an apology?

Some kids do have really sensitive skin, I bruise at virtually nothing - but any smack is surely violent?


I think he was annoyed at being put in the highest category. I think he was outraged that one red mark once on the bum put him in the same category as parents who throw their kids from room to room every night.
I dont think he deserved an apology but the child services obviously felt they had made a mistake or they wouldn't have given one.




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)


What I mean by torn is that I think the Melbourne mums parenting is morally wrong, but I wouldn't say its child abuse. Yes its not nice seeing that, but I was smacked as a child too and although I dislike how my parents did things I don't feel I was abused. There's still a line where its a more extreme way to parent versus abusive. The kids are still happy and seem confident enough, and I have no doubt that mother loves her kids. It's certainly not how I parent and I certainly don't agree with it but I think those kids will turn out fine. Hopefully they will parent their own children differently...

I think you'll find that there are many many parents that raise their kids exactly the same in Australia. There needs to be more information provided for alternatives to smacking. It seems as though parents don't know how else to do it.

i agree. even though weve decided to strive for a smack free home i understand that it doesnt work in every home, i dont think that aussie mother was abusive like the brittish woman (what a swine!) but i do think that in some of the situations it 'seemed' like a smack wasnt warranted. BUT again as you guys said its all condensed into 5minutes..we dont know the full context of the situation. i agree that education about options is a good way to go

the NZ guy...ANY smack that leaves a mark is illegal in aus and any smack at all as far as i know is illegal in NZ, he did the wrong thing..sure it was only once (so he claims) but once it too much IMO. ok so he prob didnt deserve to be place up in the top category with full on child abusers..but hey he wont do it again..lesson learnt.

dont get me started on the brittish mother..makes me sick. and i fully agree, im proud for the boy, to think the way he does after his treatment..good on him, theres hope smile

as for the whole Question of 'should it be outlawed in aus?' well no i dont think so, i think its every households choice to make how they choose to parent and disipline BUT the gov should be doing more to provide parents with assistance and info on other disipline choices and encourage the no smack philisophy (sp.? sorry in sleepy lol)
the only positive thing i took from that whole story was there was a slight improvement in the uk's eyebrows.

laugh
I was not abused as a kid. My parents used to "smack" with a bamboo cane as a hand was not achieving the desired effect. (and nor did the cane) Normal everyday middle class parents who loved us dearly and would do anything for us. perspectives of what is ok is very out of whack. Basically though, if you did the same to an adult, you would be up for assault, whether its a light tap or a full on belt. Why is it discipline for a kid, but assault for an adult? Something isn't right there. I am sure adults behavior is a lot more inappropriate then kids a lot of the time.

I was not abused as a kid. My parents used to "smack" with a bamboo cane as a hand was not achieving the desired effect. (and nor did the cane) Normal everyday middle class parents who loved us dearly and would do anything for us. perspectives of what is ok is very out of whack. Basically though, if you did the same to an adult, you would be up for assault, whether its a light tap or a full on belt. Why is it discipline for a kid, but assault for an adult? Something isn't right there. I am sure adults behavior is a lot more inappropriate then kids a lot of the time.


I agree with this.

I don't know what I think anymore! lol

My parents smacking me had no lasting effects on me, it was the other crap, the emotional isolation, lack of love, belittling and constantly being critisised that left scars on me. This is what led to my views in my previous posts.

All I know is I'm going to stick with what we're doing because it works.




I never knew until recently that normal people smacked their kids. I only know how common it is because of this forum. It is completely beyond my realm of understanding how it can possibly be common and an accepted form of “discipline” (read “forcing compliance”). It makes no sense to me, in any way. And I have tried so hard to understand how people can continue this without questioning their parenting.

It just makes no sense to lose it and smack when a kid won’t listen. It makes no sense to hit in order to condemn violence. It makes no sense to hit to ‘protect’ from danger. It makes no sense to hit to ‘teach a lesson’ – unless that lesson is that you must never question authority or have an opinion or be distracted because otherwise they will be violent and you will have deserved it because of being bad. Why is it ever something good to make a kid think that they will get hit or threatened (ie the ‘tap’) if they don’t obey? Isn’t it better to have ideas and opinions and questioning of things that seem awry, rather than forced compliance? Or showing them the consequences their actions may have had on another person?

I do not understand at all how it can be justified, unless it is accidental and a learned behaviour from one’s own parents, in which case the kids should be informed that it is wrong and that the parent is trying to learn to stop. I also don’t really get how you can ‘accidentally’ hit a child – would it be acceptable if someone’s husband ‘accidentally’ hit their wife? No it wouldn’t. So there is something within people that makes them think it is not okay to hit a woman, or another person – yet it is okay to hit a child, whom is completely helpless and can’t leave? It is nonsensical surely? This kind of logic states that a child is not a person. If it is not okay to hit someone, but a child can be hit; then this means that a child is not someone. Either the logic behind the initial no hitting idea is flawed and hitting is a normal social behaviour; or people are mistreating kids. (Since by putting kids into the no-hitting formula they should be free from violence as any other member of society has a right to be free from violence).

Obviously I think it is the latter – it is hypocritical to believe that children are the only members of society who deserve to be hit, especially as they are the ones least deserving of it, and who are less able to speak for themselves and understand that there are other options. Does anyone think it is the former? Does anyone hit their kids or threaten violence because they think violence and the threat of violence is a normal part of society and life and so should be taught as such?
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