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  5. is this rude to you? kids and electronic devices

is this rude to you? kids and electronic devices Lock Rss

I don't think it's rude. Receptions are pretty boring for kids (and often adults!) so it wouldn't bother me. We went to a wedding yesterday and DD watched the wedding then because there was 3 hours between wedding and reception we let her play on a park but when it got too cold we went inside and she watched her portable DVD player for almost an hour. After that she danced and played with kids at the reception but if she'd asked to watch her DVD player again I would have let her.
SunMoonStars wrote:
just because he has no time for his children doesn't mean that others are like that too. the father himself has no social skills and all he could talk about with my dh was phone apps and games and he is in his late thirties. that's emabarressing!


That's a bit harsh! I don't think just because he lets his kids play with a DS that it means he has no time for them! He was trying to entertain his kids, sounds like he was successful...... I wonder who enjoyed the wedding more, his kids or yours?
Is a ds so different from me taking books and coloring books/pencils for my kids at the last wedding we went to? I guess both could be considered anti-social but my mr's 4& 6 needed something to entertain them. They still played, danced, ate well and I was delighted with their behaviour, but they also needed something else to do some of the time - it would have been a long night otherwise! I don't like the thought of the ds in the actual ceremony, but I think each parent knows their kids best.... if I knew my boys would be disruptive without a diversion, I'd be all for the diversion! smile
I wouldn't choose to let my child play a ds for an entire wedding... but I'm not sure I'd say it's rude if others did. It might depend on the kids a bit too... my dd is easily entertained and would enjoy a wedding as she finds it easy to chat to adults/kids. If I had a child that would make a spectacle of himself/herself and start playing up because they're bored, maybe I would be more inclined to give them a ds to keep them a bit quiet. After all... I'd hate to think that the bride and groom took notice of my child carrying on like a pork chop at their wedding, it's supposed to be their special day!

I'm a fence sitter on this one. smile




I don't have a problem with it because we are gamers. But saying that i wouldn't let the boys play theirs (if they owed one) the whole time. I would let them play in the car and maybe bring it in for the reception incase they get bored of running around & playing.

Kids do get bored & you can't expect them to play the whole time. I would be happy that my boys were being good the whole time whatever they where doing.

I do agree with you that the other father should of ask you first.




SunMoonStars, I agree with you, I get sick of seeing kids noses buried in their games. Perhaps the time between the ceremony and the reception, the games could have come out, because to be honest even I find that time to be quite dull if you don't know many apple there. However during the ceremony and reception I think the kids could have gone without for a few hours, if not they are obviously too dependent on them.
to be honest i don't like the father that much, he is rude and all he talks about is games, literally it's like that is all he has in his brain. his wife on the other hand is lovely, firendly and easy to talk to and she hates that her husband has encouraged the game playing so much. to the point she told me that her boys have a ds each at home and one each at there grandmothers PLUS thay have a wii at home and one at their grandmothers. this tells me he is obsessed and has made his children obsessed.

he wedding we went to was not boring. they had dancers, plate breaking, a band it was entertaining and awsome all the other children seems to have fun and play together and dance.

colouring books, story books can be a social activity that a child can shared with another child and is not really an activity that they can spend the whole entire time doing, it a bit like a time out/quite time so to me that is different. with the ds it is a solitary game that they need to focus and tune out and that does not encourange any type of socilisation.

there is a time and a plce for ds playing and i don't think a wedding is one of them. i would of been so much better is the parents helped there children play and dance and have fun rather that being to busy getting pissed and smoking out the front.

oh and thank you frenchkiwi chick!

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

If it was me personally... I'd take ds for the car ride and then ditch it for the church and I'd give my son a time limit for the reception. Usually my son will find friends and go play luckily.
I don't think the dad was rude but maybe should have asked u first? I think he was just trying to help.

The weddings I've been to generally there are no kids unles they r involved with the bridal party. I've never taken my son to a wedding.
I think you are being a bit too over the top, and making some major assumptions about people. I have four girls, and the last time we went out for a meal was Christmas lunch, 2010. We went to a restaurant for lunch with my family, and my girls were very unsettled for the entire time, were running around making a lot of noise and it was very stressful. Additionally, my oldest daughter, who has autism, was throwing tantrums constantly because of another little girl who was there. She was being very bossy, and my daughter couldn't handle it. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life - and it would have been made a whole lot more calm if we had of taken a ds, or an ipod. These electronic devices serve as something for my children to focus on, to tune out the overwhelming stimulation in the environment. I would never consider taking my children to a wedding, but if I did they would spend the entire time running around, screaming and carrying on, because the stimulation would be too great, and there would be far too many people talking to them in a way they think is inappropriate, prompting further tantrums. Personally, I love games, I always have. My kids play them whenever they like, but that is not all they do. They spend lots of time outside, play with dolls and cars, and all sorts of things. I am not a lazy parent. If I'm at a special occasion, such as a wedding reception, I would much rather avoid tantrums by providing an electronic device than have to remove my child/children from the event because of their screaming - which is something they have very little control over. I think so many people assume children have a greater ability to tolerate these things than they actually do. People seem to forget that just because their children can do something, doesn't mean other children can - there is such a wide variety in ability between children! And to be honest, I don't think it's a problem if the father only talks about games. He probably likes them, maybe he feels it is 'common ground', something he can talk about with someone else when he doesn't know them very well. Perhaps he is uncomfortable in social situations, but why is this a problem? Why does everyone have to like to talk to people? Aren't people allowed to be different? If you dislike them so much, why not just keep away? Less stress for you, and those people can go without judgment, which most people do like to avoid...

kerrie, VIC, DD 12/8/03, DD 12/10/05, DD 14/9/07, DD 4/1/10

I dont think its rude to bring electronic games to a wedding, however i do think its rude to play them the whole time.

At my wedding we had a 'kiddie' table that had colouring in and other little games for them. and later during the night we had the playstation 2 set up with sing star on it for the little girls. they loved it.

I think it was nice of the guy to give your son the ds but think he should've asked your permission first.

DS was 2.5 years at the last wedding we went to and he was occupied the whole time during ceremony/reception, however the 2.5hour wait between the ceremony and reception was difficult as there wasnt anything to keep him occupied with. i would've loved to have a ds or something then





SunMoonStars wrote:
Nai&Beau wrote:It's a wedding! How can you expect kids to be quiet and just socialise the whole entire wedding? It's boring for them. I don't think there is a problem with the kids playing on their DS's and that man giving your little man a DS was doing a favour!really and you know this how? my son was fine without the ds, he wasn't bored or misbehaving. i would rather he learn social skills and play with other kids than have his face stuck in a ds and be in a trace unaware of the world around him.he had no right to give my son that without asking just because he has no time for his children doesn't mean that others are like that too. the father himself has no social skills and all he could talk about with my dh was phone apps and games and he is in his late thirties. that's emabarressing!


Ouch I'm curios have you ever mentioned this to him Directly
Reason I'm asking usually stuff you say has a way of always getting back to the one you have said it about


kerriej wrote:
I think you are being a bit too over the top, and making some major assumptions about people. I have four girls, and the last time we went out for a meal was Christmas lunch, 2010. We went to a restaurant for lunch with my family, and my girls were very unsettled for the entire time, were running around making a lot of noise and it was very stressful. Additionally, my oldest daughter, who has autism, was throwing tantrums constantly because of another little girl who was there. She was being very bossy, and my daughter couldn't handle it. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life - and it would have been made a whole lot more calm if we had of taken a ds, or an ipod. These electronic devices serve as something for my children to focus on, to tune out the overwhelming stimulation in the environment. I would never consider taking my children to a wedding, but if I did they would spend the entire time running around, screaming and carrying on, because the stimulation would be too great, and there would be far too many people talking to them in a way they think is inappropriate, prompting further tantrums. Personally, I love games, I always have. My kids play them whenever they like, but that is not all they do. They spend lots of time outside, play with dolls and cars, and all sorts of things. I am not a lazy parent. If I'm at a special occasion, such as a wedding reception, I would much rather avoid tantrums by providing an electronic device than have to remove my child/children from the event because of their screaming - which is something they have very little control over. I think so many people assume children have a greater ability to tolerate these things than they actually do. People seem to forget that just because their children can do something, doesn't mean other children can - there is such a wide variety in ability between children! And to be honest, I don't think it's a problem if the father only talks about games. He probably likes them, maybe he feels it is 'common ground', something he can talk about with someone else when he doesn't know them very well. Perhaps he is uncomfortable in social situations, but why is this a problem? Why does everyone have to like to talk to people? Aren't people allowed to be different? If you dislike them so much, why not just keep away? Less stress for you, and those people can go without judgment, which most people do like to avoid...



what assumptions have i made?

i think your situation is a different to what i'm talking about.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

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