School Mum cliques

So, my eldest DD is in Grade One this year, and the biggest struggle I have is picking her up. Firstly, I have to stand outside the classroom for 5-10 minutes as I wait for the bell, and what I have found is that no one talks to me, as all the other mum's have their personal groups. After 6 months of school pickups, I'm still in the same boat, and I've even started taking a book with me. No one talks to me, or says hi. The only exception to this is my ex-husbands partner, she says hi when she's there. Yeah - awkward.
I'm after advice... Is there a way to infiltrate the groups, without being a nosy bitch, or making a fool of myself? The times that I've tried, I've been shot down. I even joined the Uniform Shop behind-the-counter sales team, to get to know people. I keep hitting dead ends, yet, I'll be picking up my kids for at least the next 15 years, so I need SOMETHING that's helpful, so I don't keep looking like, and feeling like a loner.

Hmmm..... Is there another mum in your situation? One that you can get to know?
I know it's hard but just saying hi can work wonders. Also ask questions, people love talking about themselves and their kids.
Hope things work out for you! smile

This exact thing happens to me! Even my cousin doesn't talk to me, because I'm not in her clique and am therefore not cool...he he. Needless to say she isn't someone I want to be friendly with, plus many other reasons. The difference for me is that I don't want to belong to any clique, I don't like them. Some of the people are nice but mostly they ignore me. I would endeavour to be friendly with people who are friendly and open, and these people just are not. I really have no idea what you could do to infiltrate these groups! It's particularly difficult in a small town situation, as I am. Perhaps try joining the school council.

I think that asking random questions would make a few ice breakers, but I find that even these don't last long. I often wonder if it's just me...
Our school does have a P and F, it's just that I don't have the time to go to anything, as I'm a single mum of young kids. I don't have any family that can just babysit for me. My DD's birthday is the last day of the year, so birthday parties aren't going to happen with friends from school. I just feel like I hit a dead end every time. :/
@HappyHead - That's the article I read also, I'm fairly sure. It made me really think about how unhappy I am about this.
@Hippomum - Where in Tas? With the few things you've said, it makes me wonder if your DS's are at the same school as mine. smile

Have you considered inviting just one of your daughters friends, and her Mum, over for afternoon tea and a play one day? I find people are much friendlier one on one, and then you could get to know at least one Mum to say Hi to. If that doens't work, then invite a different child and their Mum.
Just give the Mums a big smile, say Hi and ask them how they are. If they don't bother talking to you after a few attempts, you probably don't want to be their friend anyway. I can't believe how much of a cow some grown women can be.

I would probably organise a playdate with a couple of dd's friends. Make some invites inviting mummy and child for morning tea or even at a public place ie: indoor playground, swimming or park & byo picnic nibblies. I would invite a fair few a not everyone is going to make it. A get together doesn't always have to be for a birthday!

Good luck, I hope it gets easier for you soon.

Why don't you try and organise a class list of contacts. This is what someone did in my DS kindy class. She gave the teacher a letter which was photocopied and handed out to each child. If you wanted to, you could add your name, address, phone number, email (whatever you wanted) to the list. The idea was that you could contact anyone from the list for play dates, birthday invites, school holiday play dates, emergency help in picking up or dropping off children. Each school holidays, the person that organised the list, emailed everyone to try and organise a playdate in the park. It's a great way of meeting the other parents.

My advice ... STAY AWAY from them hehe

I am serious. Don't worry about them. When you walk in try and make eye contact and smile so you are seen to be friendly but otherwise I would be more than happy to keep to yourself.

Those mum cliques get SO b1tchy, competitive and gossipy. As your child gets older they aren't so bad but in the younger grades they are. Take your iphone or something and pretend you are busy catching up on messages etc so you don't stand there feeling alone.. you can look super busy instead wink

I'm dreading that next year when dd goes to kindygarden sad at the moment at dd's daycare I have managed to make friends with a number of the mums but none of their kids are going to dd's school next year sad

*Ryjayd* wrote:
My advice ... STAY AWAY from them hehe

I am serious. Don't worry about them. When you walk in try and make eye contact and smile so you are seen to be friendly but otherwise I would be more than happy to keep to yourself.

Those mum cliques get SO b1tchy, competitive and gossipy. As your child gets older they aren't so bad but in the younger grades they are. Take your iphone or something and pretend you are busy catching up on messages etc so you don't stand there feeling alone.. you can look super busy instead wink

it gets worse as they get older....

My DD started kindy this year and I thought it may happen but it hasn't at all thank goodness! You could always organise a little tea party just for something to do?