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  5. Would cheating be the deal breaker for you?

Would cheating be the deal breaker for you? Lock Rss

it would be the end for us. definately a deal breaker.
Same as Little Miss...depends on the circumstances but you only get one chance then it's all over Rover.

I could never forgive a partner for being unfaithful, for me there's no excuse wether it was a fling or an affair to me it's the same thing, you were unfaithful, big deal breaker.
As the saying gose "once a cheater alway's a cheater"
For me it's easy to say I'd end it, no questions asked but I don't know how I'd deal with it "if" it actually happened. I've been cheated on before, not by my husband and it flippen hurts but I got over it. Bear in mind I was like 16 at the time so it's a different kettle of fish.
I just think if your partner isn't enough for you that you would go and find another person to have it off with, why are you in a relationship to begin with. That's what's being single is for to have it of with whoever you want. When your in a relationship you are IN IT.
Ok yes maybe not everyone will cheat again if they've done it before, but im the type of person who would alway's be wondering if my partner was doing it again. I couldn't stand it.
It would absolutely be a deal breaker for me.

Any cheating involves lying as well, and lying shows a complete lack of respect for your partner. If he has cheated once, he can and most likely WILL cheat again, because he obviously doesn't value you or your relationship. Trust is a very difficult thing to get back. I mean, if your partner cheats on you with someone from work, you'll be wondering what's going on every day when he's at work. And if it's a "one-nighter" from a bar, you'll always be wondering what he's really up to when he's out with the boys. If you can't trust someone you shouldn't be with him. Living a life of constant suspicion and walking on egg shells is no way to live.

I'd love to say no. I'd want to try and work on what we have cos I'd hate to lose it but I'm a jealous possessive person by nature so imagine if I had a legitimate reason to jealous and possessive?! laugh

We've always said if we found ourselves looking elsewhere or something we will have a chat and work out why and try to fix whatever it is we're lacking.

It was for me. Though I found a motel room bill and petrol bill on his work cc statement in the town of the woman I think he had the affair with. He STILL denies it, but I had found several other things on his phone previously. As well as financial lies. There were so many other lies. He still thinks it is my fault, because I should just put up with being cheated on and all, pffft.
Sorry for the vent, had a craptastick day!
No it wouldn't. I couldn't just throw away what we have BUT cheating never happens just for no reason. We would have to get to why it happened and then decide whether or not the relationship was salvagable.
It would take me a long time to get over it and trust again but I don't think it would be the end.
I think this is one of those "I'd have to live it to find out" kind of things. Part of me says I'd kick him out straight away, another part of me says I'd like to work on the marriage as there is possibly something wrong for him to do it.

In saying that though, my husband kissed a girl he worked with at a christmas thing (he wasn't even drunk - so he had his wits about him), he fessed up the next morning, it completely threw me. I was so angry, but even more disappointed. This was when we'd been married for 18mths, had 2 kids, and were in a fantastic stage of our relationship - in fact, just before he'd left to go to this party, we'd watched PS I Love You, and I felt more in love with him than I ever thought I could be, and I know he felt the same. So I was just dumbfounded as to why it happened. He couldn't explain it, he kept saying "It just happened, I don't even find her attractive".
I obviously forgave him, I mean, he was honest about it, told her to bugger off when she kept texting him and ended up never speaking to her again. But, our marriage hasn't really been the same since. I don't know where I'm going with all this, but I think I just had to get it out unsure Obviously one kiss isn't as bad as full on cheating.
Supermummy wrote:
Athaye, I'm kinda where you are.

I think for me it would depend what you're classing as cheating (how far it had actually gone), how long for, how it started, who it was, how dh felt, and how I found out etc. if for eg it had been an ongoing thing (full blown affair sex and all) and I only found out because I found out he had a seperately secret account he had been using etc or something then I would be more likely to end it than if he confessed to me upon coming home after being out drinking that some girl kissed him and he did xyz back, but hadn't slept with her or whatever, then that I would forgive.

But in reality I don't think I can say with any certainty what I would do without being in that position. I have made stupid mistakes in the past and I don't think I could throw in my marriage etc just coz dh made a mistake. But again, if it was a repeated thing then I probably wouldn't be as forgiving.

This hits kinda close to home at the mo as we are going through the fallout of this with a family member and it's not pretty. Think dh would think twice having seen the devastation caused.

my initial response is that would be the end - however, there is a little part of me that is actually unsure how i really would react - i would have to take into consideration all aspects of the indiscretion.....

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