Sorry if this is long winded but its a bit of a vent aswell..
We went to a good friends wedding back in Feb. It was an Island wedding, off the mainland, so it was a days travelling to get to the closest town, a nights accomodation there, then a ferry trip and nights accomodation for the wedding and another days travel home. The whole weekend cost us over $1000 plus a day off work for DH (he is self employed so no holiday pay and our business is just breaking even at the moment).
Anyway the invite clearly stated that because everyone was travelling so far they didnt expect gifts, however if we wanted to contribute we could via a honeymoon registry website.
I had a look at the website, the cheapest gift was $100 and it was for 'cocktails by the pool', there were other things like meals out and activities like surf lessons (they were going to Hawaii. I dont know I felt funny about giving them 'a round of cocktails' or something like that and was going to give them some cash but then DH suggested we didnt have to get them anything and the more I thought about it it was a lot of money to go in the first place, so I decided we wouldnt. I had another friend going who had decided the same so I felt comfortable with my decision, and even more so at the wedding when another couple there said they had decided not to give a gift either.
Anyway, I was talking to my friend the other day (the one who decided not to give a gift aswell) and she said 'I loved that pic that they used on their thank you cards', I was like huh we never got a thank you? turns out she got it a couple of months ago. So when I was talking to my sister next I was telling her about it (she is also friend with the bride through a mutual friend) and she already knew that we werent getting a thank you... she didnt want to say anything to me because she doesnt like to stir and she knew I would be upset but she had overheard the bride telling someone that she couldnt believe we didnt give them a gift because apparently we have quote "more money than anyone she knows", which is not at all true its more like more debt!!! (she calls us the Trumps because we have several investment properties but doesnt at all understand how it all works)
I fell really hurt about all this and find it very rude, going to her wedding was really stressful in the first place because DD2 was only 5 months and still BF but it had been requested she didnt go but the same time I she told me it wouldnt be right if I didnt go to her wedding because Im one of her best friends.. not to mention the cost of it all. Am I over reacting or do you think its rude aswell?
Not over reacting at all imo!! I'd be hurt too sad Oh and for the record, I wouldn't of contributed either after having to pay all of that to be there and i'm shocked they asked at all really!