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Would you ask Why? Rss

DD1 goes back to school tomorrow and she is seperated from all her friends.

There are four classes in her year and she basically had 5 closer friends from her class.

One left and the other four are all in the same class plus one boy.

She is in another class with one girl that she doesn't particularly like and two boys of which she is reasonably good friends with one and occassionally plays with the other.

I'm guessing that they roughly took 4-5 kids from each class and mixed all four classes up.

It's pretty obvious that they have not split it academically unless they have done it to have a mix of all levels in each class.

She has other friends in other classes but none of them ended up in her class either. Apart from the three other kids in her kindy class she doesn't even know anybody else.

For some strange reason they tell them at the end of last year what classes they will be in and whom their teacher will be. They then spend a few hours on each of the last two days of last year as a class to get to know the teacher etc.

She tried to make friends with some of the other girls that will be in her class but they were not interested as they too were all in the same class last year. I'm pretty sure that she will eventually make friends with some of them but just don't want her to lose confidence.

I wouldn't say anything if they were all mixed up but she is pretty upset that all of her friends are in the same class but not her.

She's been pretty upset about it all holidays and i've been tossing up if I should ask or not. I just don't get that if it was random, how all four of her main friends end up in the same class and all five other girls in her class came from the same class aswell.

She's going into year 1 (second year of school)!



I know that I can't wrap her up in cotton wool!

I just don't get how all her other friends ended up in the one class!



That sounds a bit weird.
At DS school, each kid had to write down one friend they'd like to stay with for the next year. I thought most schools made sure each child has at least one friend with them going into a new class.

I would probably want to ask why, but they wouldn't do anything about it now anyway - well, I don't think they would.
Fingers crossed she makes a friend in her class fairly quickly, at least she has recess and lunch to play with her close friends. smile
See, i'd be absolutely fine with that!

Just one of them. I don't care which one!



we didn't find out my dd1's class list until 2 days before school went back, which they do every year. she's in grade 2 this year and before school started this year, and also last year, when we talk about school and who could be in her class, we also talk about the fact that some of her friends may not be in the same class, but she can always play with them at lunch time, etc. Her best friend was in her class last year, but isn't this year so i'm glad i prepared her for it as it meant there was no worrying, tears, etc. there are a handful of kids in her class again this year, but most of them she doesn't know, so it'll be a good chance for her to meet other kids, etc.

i wish your dd1 good luck and hopefully she'll be able to make new friends in her class but still play with her old friends at lunch time, etc smile
I would probably let her settle in first and see how she is in a few weeks. Then ask questions




TBH It's really a bit late now, to ask that sort of thing. You really needed to ask at the end of last year when you first found it.
Having said that, I guess it's never too late if you feel really strongly about it.
I would give her a week to get used to the class and see how she settles in. Kids are pretty good at making friends in new situations. My DD often makes a new 'best friend' at the beach for 2 hours!
Being positive about all the great new kids in her class, and giving her ideas of how to join in/ask someone to play in order to make friends will help. Chat to her teacher today, and let him/her know that she doesn't really have any friends in the group, and they should do some stuff to help with that in the class anyway.
mummy on the run wrote:
TBH It's really a bit late now, to ask that sort of thing. You really needed to ask at the end of last year when you first found it.
Having said that, I guess it's never too late if you feel really strongly about it.
I would give her a week to get used to the class and see how she settles in. Kids are pretty good at making friends in new situations. My DD often makes a new 'best friend' at the beach for 2 hours!
Being positive about all the great new kids in her class, and giving her ideas of how to join in/ask someone to play in order to make friends will help. Chat to her teacher today, and let him/her know that she doesn't really have any friends in the group, and they should do some stuff to help with that in the class anyway.


I was going to but both the principal and deputy were away and I had kind of decided that she will deal with it but I didn't realise how much that it would still bother her.

My main way of thinking was that she will have to learn to deal with issues like this in life.

I don't really expect them to change anything although i'm sure that they would if I kicked up a stink, which i'm not going to do!

I just don't get why they would do that unless they pulled names out of a hat!



Our schools found out at the end of last year as well and DD1 is going into grade two with 4 friends she has been with since prep. I do think it is too late to be asking questions now, all that should have been done at the time if finding out.

Before finding out the class I explained to DD that she may not be with her friends again and she was ok with that, we just got lucky, I know at our school they don't split them academically, they have to split all the kids that clash and spread out the kids with behaviours across the board etc. it's hard that she isn't with her friends, but it is a good opportunity for her to make new friends in case this happens in future years, it will give her a broader range of friends and more chance of being in a class with her friends in the future smile
I agree with others...she will be put in to different classes with different friends for many years to come. She will cope and most likely make more friends. Like most things with parenting we carry with us our experiences and worry for them. She will be fine, as long as you do not make it an issue. Focus on the positive...
It's usually the teacher from the previous year who makes those decisions, so her prep teacher. Schools usually try to put one friend in with them. Perhaps the teacher thought she was better friends with somone than she actually is.
Maybe invite one of the kids from her class over for a play one afternoon, that can help with friendships.
Hope she has a good week smile
This was us last year, my son was separated from all his friends going into year one, I was mad! We don't find out class lists until a few days prior to the first day. When I found out, I spoke to his pp teacher and she said she did put him with one of his besties but the office must have needed to re-jig things due to late enrolments over the holidays. Apparently they place the kids per academic, behavioural, special needs etc. We did have problems, my son was so busy trying to keep up with his friends at recess and lunch, that e wasn't eating lunch or going to the toilet when he should and therefore was missing out on valuable class time. It took the best part of a year to work out what was going on as he doesn't say much. Thankfully his teacher was onto it and this year he is not with his besties but he is with a good friend he made last year.

My advice to you is to speak o her teacher and explain your concerns, and make an effort to speak to the other mums and organise play dates.

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