I've only ever heard people say 'I was upset at first but now its the best thing that could have happened', or 'I wouldn't change a thing now'. It is ALWAYS portrayed that once you fall in love with the unexpected surprise that everything is just fine and any kind of negative thought process is instantly gone.
Now I havn't had any surprises so obviously I can't say what it's like... So I wanted to know from you other ladies what it is you experienced.
This lady's story goes like this; she was a nurse, she met her husband and they had kids in their late 30's. a boy and a girl. They were just starting to find life getting a bit easier now that their youngest had turned 5 and both were off to school. She quit nursing to start a family day care business at home, did all the study and renovated their house so that it was also suitable for child care. They planned a trip to the snow now that the kids were a bit older too. Her hubby refused to get a vasectomy so she kept taking the pill diligently, but low and behold at the age of 43 discovers she is pregnant. She was completely devistated, to the point where she even considered abortion but they couldn't go through with that. They were just downright devistated; their family was supposed to be finished, they'd sold their baby gear and all.
So here she was in woollies with her now 3 month old, and she is looking at him affectionately and I can see she loves him... But she's telling me that although she loves him it really is a big drag on their life going through all the baby stage again. She's trying to drop two kids to school in the morning, look after the baby as well as run their family day care with other people's kids. She looks tired, she doesn't want to work now that there's another baby but she has no option, and all their plans for the future are now on hold again. One of her day care kids is a baby the same age as hers, and this baby doesn't ever want to be put down.. Rocked to sleep, held all day, crying all day, and she is having to spend more of her time with this other baby than with her own. She says its like having twins! She says she can't help but think what would have been if this hadnt have happened. She had her tubes tied at the same time that he was born (c-section).
Now I bet a lot of you will judge them for not being more careful, but I actually admire her honesty. I've never ever in my life heard of it in this light, and it scares the pants off me that this could happen to my family! (Dh is booked for a vasectomy next month but there's still time :-/)
How many people feel like this lady does? All of them? Most of them? Or do you think that maybe she is the exception and everybody else loves their circumstance once the baby is born?