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My first school dilema Rss

So DS started prep last week and today one of the mums asked me if DS could have a sleep over at their house. As soon as she said that I felt so anxious about it and said that I would have to think about it because it would be his first time having a sleep over (with someone we didn't know) He's only had a couple of sleep overs and thats been with his aunty every time. To be honest she is the only one that DSs dad and I trust. So I then said that we could have a few play dates together.

My dilema I guess is that at this age I don't feel comfortable with him having sleep overs and don't really know how to approach the conversation the next time that she asks. Her son was so excited about it and DS wasn't overly excited at all. She also said that they have a pool and that was another worry for me as DS doesn't really know how to swim yet.

I guess my question is at what age do you feel comfortable with your kids having a sleep over with a friend from school? Also what can I say the next time she asks??



I am exactly the same. You just don't know what goes on at other people's houses, and you don't know their discipline techniques or whether its normal for the parents to shout at each other. You don't know if their kids usually play violent video games or if they jump from the top of a bunk bed. Yes I'm a cotton wool mum and I aim to minimise my regrets in my parenting. Keeping our kids safe from harm is a top priority on my list so I think your concerns are warranted. My dd has only slept over at my mums house and a very close friend of mine.




just be up front and say that you dont think hes old enough for a sleep over yet but you are ok with play dates... my oldest is 7 and i still dont think he is old enough for a sleep over laugh





Your DS is way too young for sleep overs. My DD didn't do that until she was "Alot" older. Sorry cant quite remember the exact age but I am guessing maybe 10yrs on. Just be truthful with this lady.




chalys 'n' J wrote:
I am exactly the same. You just don't know what goes on at other people's houses, and you don't know their discipline techniques or whether its normal for the parents to shout at each other. You don't know if their kids usually play violent video games or if they jump from the top of a bunk bed. Yes I'm a cotton wool mum and I aim to minimise my regrets in my parenting. Keeping our kids safe from harm is a top priority on my list so I think your concerns are warranted. My dd has only slept over at my mums house and a very close friend of mine.

Thanks Chalys. When she asked I felt so anxious and a few things like these ran through my mind so I'm glad I'm not the only one that things about those sorts of things. When she said about the pool I freaked out even more.

Jas* wrote:
First of all, HEY!! cool

Hey you! I'll PM you smile

Mum Of 3 Cuties wrote:
3_boys wrote:
just be up front and say that you dont think hes old enough for a sleep over yet but you are ok with play dates

+1

My brother and SIL just told their children that their family don't do sleep overs at houses that don't "share their family germs". So basically if it isn't family there is no sleep over. This only really included staying at grandparents actually. I am happy my boys are home bodies TBH as it solves this whole problem. They aren't even fans of staying at nans.

That's a funny way to put it! I'll have to tell DS that laugh



3_boys wrote:
just be up front and say that you dont think hes old enough for a sleep over yet but you are ok with play dates... my oldest is 7 and i still dont think he is old enough for a sleep over laugh


GarfieldRules wrote:
Your DS is way too young for sleep overs. My DD didn't do that until she was "Alot" older. Sorry cant quite remember the exact age but I am guessing maybe 10yrs on. Just be truthful with this lady.


Ok I'll be up front with her. Hopefully she understands and doesn't make a big deal about it. We're only two weeks into the school year, it would make the rest of the year very interesting!



other than family my oldest 2 have only ever had 1 sleepover and that was with very close family friends who have kids the same age. so they were 5 and 7.

for me the biggest concern is not so much his age but that you have only just met this woman and while I am sure she is lovely, you dont know her at all!!

like the other girls said, playdates are the way to go for now and hopefully she will be happy enough to accept this.


Mr J (April 2005) Miss Z (Feb 2007) and Miss O (Oct 2010)

My DD had her first school friend sleepover last year (in kindy) I became great friends with a lot of the mums so felt comfortable letting DD stay at this persons house. A few of her kindy friends also stayed the night here smile

Just stick with playdates for now, just tell the other mum te truth that you don't feel comfortable about it, I'm sure she will understand!






I think you need to say to the mother that you would like to get to know them better because you don't feel completely comfortable about it until you do.

I know i would be the same, little master hasn't slept anywhere else but home or hotel when we away.

I know mum would never let me sleep over at someone house unless she was friends with the parents. I think she only let me sleep 1 time over at someone house & it was across the road.




I agree 5yrs is too young for sleepovers, my DD has just started school & I'm actually a little nervous about being asked if she can have a playdate, she's never had a playdate at a friends house without me there.

I remember my 1st sleepover, I was 8yrs old & I had never even been to my friends house for a playdate. Everything about it was different to my house, I especially hated that I was made to shower with my friend & her sister. I was longing for my mum & by dinner time & was crying so much they rang my mum & took me home. They were nice people but it really scared me, I didn't have another sleepover until I was 10 which was much more successful!
I haven't read all the comments, but my answer would be no too. Don't feel pressured into it.
My DD is 9 and one of her friends just isn't allowed any sleep overs and its no problem. My DD can with 1 school friend only, and only in holidays, as even weekends made her too exhausted for the week ahead.
I'd just say you've thought about it and don't feel he or you are ready for it yet, but they are more than welcome to have a play date, even for dinner and then drop the other boy home. Or you can blame the tired factor I guess. Good luck and welcome to the world of school dilemmas.
Thanks for all of the replies. Happy Head and skippy your right that is another huge concern for me. We're going to meeting at the park for the kids to have a play. I don't think I'll be ready for him to have a play date at his house without me either.

Thanks I think mummy on the run laugh It's only week two, I'm not looking forward to the rest of the school years.



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