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Ladies with partners that work away Lock Rss

DP got a new job and has flown out for the first time today. I'm feeling lonely already, I think it's just knowing that he won't be coming home from work tonight, or the night after, or the night after that. I know people say it gets better over time but does it really?

Does anyone have any advice on how to make things work as a family with a FIFO worker? I guess I just need someone to talk to that understands what it's like.

Thanks for reading smile








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

How long is he away/home for?

My Husband has been FIFO for over 2 years now. With travel he ends up 30 on 26 off. I can't give you any advice as a family, but for me personally (we are TTC).

I found to start with the first couple of weeks were the hardest, and then it was just easier from then until he got home. Each time did get a little bit easier, but it's always hard when stuff is happening at home, and you don't have that sounding board. To start with we skyped every day, texted. Then it kind of dropped back to every other day, and now we might skype every few days, and text every now and then. Just over time we had less "need" to talk every day. We cope much better now, but sometimes it is nice just to hear his voice.

I think attitude plays a massive massive part in how you cope. If you feel sorry for yourself and say it's sh!t and that you hate it, it will be much much harder to deal with than if you just accept it, and make it work the best you can.

It's great for me, as I can do the things I need or want to do while DH is away, and while he's home we see our friends together, spend quality time together, and in general enjoy each others company more. DH is always pleased to be home, but happy to go back to work, in a positive way, if that makes sense. I just have my own routine while he's away, and he slots in when he's home.

I can't say how it changes when you're a parent, but there are some Huggies mums who do it. A friend of mine's partner works on rigs/boats and he never knows how long he's away for, how long he's home for, she has a 3 year old and another one on the way, and she has no family in the country. She is my idol, she does fabulously, because she has the right attitude and has a good support network around her. If she can do it, I can too. And so can you =)

Good luck for everything, I hope you can make it work for you =)

Becaful wrote:
How long is he away/home for?

My Husband has been FIFO for over 2 years now. With travel he ends up 30 on 26 off. I can't give you any advice as a family, but for me personally (we are TTC).

I found to start with the first couple of weeks were the hardest, and then it was just easier from then until he got home. Each time did get a little bit easier, but it's always hard when stuff is happening at home, and you don't have that sounding board. To start with we skyped every day, texted. Then it kind of dropped back to every other day, and now we might skype every few days, and text every now and then. Just over time we had less "need" to talk every day. We cope much better now, but sometimes it is nice just to hear his voice.

I think attitude plays a massive massive part in how you cope. If you feel sorry for yourself and say it's sh!t and that you hate it, it will be much much harder to deal with than if you just accept it, and make it work the best you can.

It's great for me, as I can do the things I need or want to do while DH is away, and while he's home we see our friends together, spend quality time together, and in general enjoy each others company more. DH is always pleased to be home, but happy to go back to work, in a positive way, if that makes sense. I just have my own routine while he's away, and he slots in when he's home.

I can't say how it changes when you're a parent, but there are some Huggies mums who do it. A friend of mine's partner works on rigs/boats and he never knows how long he's away for, how long he's home for, she has a 3 year old and another one on the way, and she has no family in the country. She is my idol, she does fabulously, because she has the right attitude and has a good support network around her. If she can do it, I can too. And so can you =)

Good luck for everything, I hope you can make it work for you =)


Thanks for your reply smile He is doing 2 on 1 off. The hard thing is that there is no phone coverage where he is and we only have one computer which I have with me so I don't know when we will be talking next.

I completely agree with you on the attitude thing. In the days leading up to him leaving I was really positive about it, thinking I'll be fine, I'll catch up with friends and family etc. But last night lying in bed it felt like the reality hit and I started to feel sad. Dropping him off at the airport was hard especially seeing him say bye to DD. I can't imagine not seeing DD for 2 weeks sad

It sounds like your friend is doing an amazing job, it must be hard not knowing when they will be home.

I'm sure I'll be fine, it's just getting used to the idea of living on my own smile








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

My DH does FIFO and has done the entire 9 years that we have been together. Like Becaful I cannot comment on how to handle it with a family as we do not have kids yet but for us it has become a routine that we are used to. I'm in WA as well so if you'd like to chat then PM me if you like. I'll send a request to follow you.

Edit: it seems I cannot follow you for some reason...

DH is not a FIFO but is away alot with work, some weeks it is eaiser without him there but then there are moments like 3am this mornign when I wished he was so I could get some sleep, there are moments that his job jsut annouys me as I can not arrange anything like today he left and told me he was going mackay to townsville which to me meant home saturday and we could go car shopoing but that has turned to mackay townsville innisfail and then who knows, which means I will be lucky if i am cooking a roast on sunday, but you adjust DD is only 7 months old but she knows when he comes home even before he is in the driveway and that is probaly the way she is going to live her life but i am ok with that. All i can say it comes with time but it also takes a very strong relationship to handle it as well, ( i have seen marraiges fall apart over FIFO and DH being away) so you have to look at the good and bad of it but treasure the time that he is home trust me we do.




nadz27 wrote:
my DH is in the military so he can go away a bit, he hasn't been away for a year or so now but was away for most of DS first year.
I break the weeks down into pieces its hard to explain but it makes it more manageable and quicker I find.
with having kids in the mix I'm not too sure as DH was doing this well before the kids came along so I was already used to it and the kids won't really know anything else/ won't remember anyway.
I used to try and leave the house at least 3 times a week esp when DS was a baby just to get some adult conversation - even if it was just saying hi to someone at the supermarket.
It does get easier. I remember when he first joined we went 5 weeks with no contact at all, it was the hardest thing every as we had only spent maybe 3 days apart in the 3 years previous. He did a 7month stint before DS was born and we could email but we spoke 3 times in that whole time. Also he did a 3month stint where there was no communication as the email on the boat wasn't working.
so sorry not many pointers but it does get easier and you get into your own rhythm of doing things with out them.


7 months! Wow that must have been extremely hard sad I think I will definitely have to spend more time out and about because sitting in an empty house makes you feel a lot worse. I'm hoping I can get into a routine soon.








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

~Mel A~ wrote:
My DH does FIFO and has done the entire 9 years that we have been together. Like Becaful I cannot comment on how to handle it with a family as we do not have kids yet but for us it has become a routine that we are used to. I'm in WA as well so if you'd like to chat then PM me if you like. I'll send a request to follow you.

Edit: it seems I cannot follow you for some reason...


Hi Mel A smile I have changed my profile so you can add me.








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

2CuddlyMuffins wrote:
My DH is FIFO too, he does a 2:1 roster.

We go through patches of finding it really manageable and patches where it's difficult - I don't really have anything else to add though, everyone's experience with it is different. We don't want to do it for the long term, but we've been doing it for 2 years already so who knows when we'll call it quits lol.

There are benefits, when DH is home we get so much time together, and with the kids at school it's really great time for us as a couple. I think that's one of the things that makes it workable, that aspect of it has been great for our relationship smile Also when he's home he gets to drop the kids off and pick them up, go their school events and so forth, which is really great.

Definitely has its drawbacks though and is not always easy going. I think if you are in it together as a couple, keep communication as open and as regular as possible (sucks when there's no phone coverage, we had that problem for the first year or so) and keep your priorities straight, you'll do just fine. When DH is struggling being away, I send him pictures of the kids and it helps him remember why he's doing what he's doing, it's to provide the best he can for us, and that's worthwhile for him.


Thank you for your reply smile Sounds like it can have its ups and downs. Hopefully the benefits outweigh the negatives. Unfortunately DP didn't really have a choice sad He lost his job in Perth and the only way for him to get work straight away was for him to work away. We are both hoping it's not going to be a long term thing too. Found out tonight that he has a landline in his room so will be able to call him at night smile Makes it a bit easier.








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

Butter_Flyaway wrote:
DH is not a FIFO but is away alot with work, some weeks it is eaiser without him there but then there are moments like 3am this mornign when I wished he was so I could get some sleep, there are moments that his job jsut annouys me as I can not arrange anything like today he left and told me he was going mackay to townsville which to me meant home saturday and we could go car shopoing but that has turned to mackay townsville innisfail and then who knows, which means I will be lucky if i am cooking a roast on sunday, but you adjust DD is only 7 months old but she knows when he comes home even before he is in the driveway and that is probaly the way she is going to live her life but i am ok with that. All i can say it comes with time but it also takes a very strong relationship to handle it as well, ( i have seen marraiges fall apart over FIFO and DH being away) so you have to look at the good and bad of it but treasure the time that he is home trust me we do.


That must be hard having his trips so unpredictable. I'm sure there are going to be moments where I'd love some help with DD too, it will be interesting to see what it's like being alone for 2 weeks. Hopefully DD adjusts to not having her daddy here, it's sad when she asks for him sad








First we had Each Other, Then we had You, Now we have Everything

My hubby started FIFO 6months ago, he worked away alot before but there was no pattern to his roster, so we LOVE FIFO smile

My hubby does 2on and 2off, I just keep busy with the kids and work and organise catch ups with girl friends smile



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