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  5. once a cheater always a cheater?

once a cheater always a cheater? Lock Rss

What do you think?
Anyy personal stories to go witth it?

Hell Yes, lepards dont change their spots!!
My ex hubby had an affair that is ultimately what ended our marrage.
He has been with his new girlfriend for 4 years now, (he is 36 and she is 53) My girls took alot of adjusting to that.
No and behold he is and has been cheating on her for a while now. When she suspected it a while ago she asked me what I thought and I said yes. She did the whole snoping thing through his face book and he is even on a dating website!!!! I said to her what the hell are you doing, and she has got her head in the sand! More fool her.
My DP knows that if he ever does that he had better run like hell so I dont get a hold of him!!!

I do not think a cheater will always be a cheater in all relationships.
But a cheater that has cheated in a specific relationship, then IN that relationship he/she will always be a cheater.
Skippy And The Greek wrote:
I do not think a cheater will always be a cheater in all relationships.
But a cheater that has cheated in a specific relationship, then IN that relationship he/she will always be a cheater.

Yep agree with this one. My DP was a cheater in his previous relationship but he hasn't cheated on me. He was in the Navy back then and so the environment was different, with him being away all the time etc.

I know that the way he feels about me and the way he felt about her are completely different and I think he realises why he cheated on her and wouldn't do it to me.
I have always thought if someone cheats then they could end up doing it again. But I guess every situation is different. My dh last girlfriend cheated on him. It has never happened to me that I know of. I guess the problem is the trust issue if your partner cheats on you. Is it possible to ever fully regain that trust again.

No, I don't believe that once your a cheater your always going to be.. I think it comes down to the situation and how much they care and are willing to change. Yes some people do continue to cheat, But it definatly doesn't mean that they are all like that.

I think a cheater is capable of change but for me I could never completely trust a cheater and a relationship without trust is not one I'd want to be in.
My now dh cheated on me once before we were married, an yes it wa more than kissing. We were living over 1000kms apart, he decided to go to the pub for tea on his own, then because the footy was on stayed to watch that with a beer, then it got more crowded and he kept drinking... Ended up taking some girl home he didn't know, didn't have a condom, so didn't have sex but she did things to him... Then he freaked out and told her she had to leave NOW, she was shitty in the least.. Then he rang me at 4am crying and telling me what he'd done.

He hated himself for it, literally hated himself... He cried and was scared of losing me, an I told him if he was serious about us he had to move to Adelaide to be with me.. And he was there within two weeks. He proposed as soon as he saw me. It sounds like a really bad time to propose doesn't it... Haha!

BUT... I almost almost almost dumped him over it. This is what it took for him to realise he was genuinely terrified of losing me and that he wanted me forever. I cried and talked about it no end, it made me insecure for a long time, but in the long term.. I knew that whatever happened in our lifetime he would be honest with me. He could have not said a word and I'd never have known. We were living in separate cities, the girl was an overseas traveller who knew none of our friends, and yet he chose to tell me. I could also see that he regretted it so much that I was confident it would never happen again.

It made us stronger.. It taught us about communicating through conflict and it taught him a big lesson.

So no, not always. Its a very individual thing though. If he cheated twice though I would expect that he didn't learn the first time and therefore never will. My husband used up his one and only chance, I'd leave if it happened again.

I have a terrible story. I was betrayed by the first husband, I did not even guess until the last, until my friend started to point out some facts. I did not want to see the facts, but nevertheless decided to turn to private detective sydney. The detective coped quickly, although my ex very well kept everything hidden. I am grateful to my friend and agency that I was able to get rid of the traitor.
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