Every year hubbies family contact us and say we are to spend $200 on 4 family members seeing as there are 4 of us. We have not done this yet. I think it's disgusting that they are so expectant. It would also cost us $800 and we don't have that much to just throw away.
So today hubby texted me and said sil wanted to buy me some things that I needed and he told her to just get me some towels or something because I won't want much from her. Then she asked what colour so he was texting me to ask what colour.
Now.. it's not that I'm ungrateful that someone wants to buy me a gift, even if it's not $200 worth. I get upset that my actual wants at christmas time gets ignored and they are completely disrespectful for how I feel about it. Instead of texting hubby back I sent her a text direct that said
"Hubby text me to say you were asking about xmas gifts for me….. I just wanted to tell you that the thing that would make me happier than any gift is if you hopped on the oxfam site and bought a goat or a chicken to feed a family that has no food at this time of year. I have so much already, my family is healthy, I have a home and plenty to eat, and every time a commercial event comes up my heart breaks for the children that have absolutely nothing when I have everything. I would be absolutely stoked if you did this instead of buying me a gift. smile"
The message I got back was really rude… it said "What the heck is he doing texting you about it, all I asked him in passing is if there were anything you needed!!!!!!! I don't donate to charities because I'm not rich and theres people I know that could do with some nice things, and besides I don't trust those websites anyway!"
I sent back a few more texts saying it would mean so much more to me to help someone more needy than me than receiving a gift myself, and provided the oxfam website.
She is now ignoring me.
I CANNOT BELIEVE that someone could be so so so self centred!! I am not asking her to not buy gifts for the rest of her family. I am not saying that she can't receive any gifts. I am asking for something that means I go without, no one else… because it would mean so damn much to me to help someone else that would most DEFINATELY appreciate it. I cannot believe that there will be a whole room full of people that are excited over the monetary value of their gifts. And I despise that when we try to give our children a modest christmas and teach them the value of giving and helping others that they will blindly and happily over-ride everything we want to teach them by lavishing expensive and extravagant gifts on them. It means that the small and meaningful gifts I will give my children will be over shadowed by blingy, bright and big gifts. And to a child it is to be expected that they will think their aunties are so awesome and that christmas is all about what THEY get from others!!
AND to top all this off. My mother is not speaking to me and told me I'm selfish for wanting to move to Darwin. She says it's selfish because my grandparents are not getting any younger. She obviously expects me to live here in misery waiting for them to die, which is what it actually gets down to!!! Now I can appreciate that she will miss my kids and if she simply expressed this, I would be able to empathise with her and provide reassurance. But she has instead gone about this with anger and cut off communication. She even shut her door in my husbands face while he was holding our son. WTF is wrong with her???!?!?!
I AM SICK OF PEOPLE DISRESPECTING MY VIEWS, MY NEEDS & WHAT I NEED TO DO TO BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!