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  5. is this a rude question -breast or bottle?

is this a rude question -breast or bottle? Rss

So another thread got me thinking... whenever someone I know just has a baby (so not strangers) one of the things I ask is if bub is breast or bottle fed. It never occured to me that this could be seen as a rude question before.

I just considered it a general question like "how long was your labor" and "how big was bub when born" etc. Its not something I ask because I'm judging, juat cause I'm curious.

So my question is if a friend asked you this after you had your baby would you think it was a rude question or not?
I think it's fine from a friend.




All of those questions I think it depends on the context and the relationship with that person. Personally never bothered me, but I know that others find those kinds of questions invasive especially if they are already feeling upset about feeding choices etc




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Personally, I didn't like people asking me personal questions while pregnant and after having bubs. My MIL asked about stitches and tears after having bubs, I'm like 'we have never discussed my vagina before and I'm not about to make it a conversation piece now!'

Obviously breast/bottle isn't quite as personal in that way, but it is a personal decision about child rearing that is also quite controversial. By asking you could make the person feel judged or under scrutiny to make the 'right' decision. I don't ask it, if I want to know then I wait until bubs food time then I can find out without having to ask directly smile

Aka G&L smile

I don't think the question itself is rude, it's what they say next after you answer that could be the corker wink
I think it really depends on the friend asking. I don't think I'd find it rude from most of my friends although I did have a friend ask with my first "why isn't he bottle fed" which hurt me a bit. I'd never ask that of someone else though I think I'd ask something more general like how's feeding going or something
I think it highly depends on the context.

I formula feed (it wasnt a choice...it was after having little support, getting overwhelmed and depressed because bub wouldnt latch even though my supply was good etc)

I feel a little defensive against breastfeeding mums sometimes but only because it feels like there is a lot of judgement to formula feeding...not all of us want to....


I think you just have to be sensitive to a person and if you ask regardless of your opinion be understanding.

Honestly I dont really feel the need to tell randoms (except on a bubs forum lol) but I dont mind if my other friends ask. All of them have been supportive smile
Nai&BE wrote:
I don't ask those questions, I just don't think it matters to be honest. I don't mind people me asking as such but it depends how they are asking. I mean why does it matter to everyone else whether your baby is bf or ff?


Great answer nai, couldn't agree more smile
Im pretty sure i was asked a few times after i had DS and even with this pregnancy im sure iv been asked if im going be BF once she is born. I can see how it would be offensive to some people but i personally dony take offence to it. I wouldnt ask it though cause some people take offence easily. I usually ask how feeding is going and dont say BF or bottle, just feeding in general.





Nai&BE wrote:
I don't ask those questions, I just don't think it matters to be honest. I don't mind people me asking as such but it depends how they are asking. I mean why does it matter to everyone else whether your baby is bf or ff?

Totally agree grin
I think its ok if ur close friends. but otherwise no. only because some women (like me) don't want to answer it for fear of being judged. yep-I bottleffed my girls. I got asked why, did you try properly to breastfeed, oh you just want the easy way.(yeh right) I know most people that ask are just curious or its just one of the common questions u ask, but really, its quite personal when u think about it. smile
I never thought about it before. It would never even occur to me to ask.... I guess I only know 2 people who ff so I just assume the people I know are bf unless they tell me otherwise.
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