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Sex problems Rss

Nay7 wrote:
Pinkie Pie wrote:
Nay7 wrote:
I know this sounds harsh but maybe you'll just have to say that until he tries to make it good, or at least better for you, you want to atop having sex for a while. Maybe it will help him think about your needs a bit more.
As a man he would feel so belittled and emasculated by not being able to perform. This could be embarrassing and depressing for him. I think the issue is more than just physiological and its something that needs medical attention to fix. He needs support, love and encouragement to go seek help. Wayward can you go with him to the doctor?
I did not mean that she should belittle him, but he also should be willing to get help. Waywad said she had made him a Drs appointment and he wouldn't go. They have tried sprays etc and they did not work. I agree they should go to the Dr together which is why I suggested a sex therapist in a previous post. My DH would do whatever he needed to if he had this problem, as he believes sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both. If I'm not enjoying it, he doesn't enjoy it. Waywad should definitely love and support her partner with his problem, but the problems aren't going to be fixed if he's not willing to try some more solutions.


No i didn't mean you meant that. I meant he'd already feel belittled for the reason that he can't perform and satisfy his wife. Nothing you said Nay7. I was just giving the opposite advise to you.




I am will have another try at getting us to see a doctor. He really is quite upset about this. He is very embarrassed. I just want to fix this and support him with whatever the problem is. Everyone's advice is being considered.
I think that masturbation and his experimenting with that could potentially help a lot.

I have read (I think it was Steve Biddulph's Manhood but not certain) that masturbation in the teens is when a man learns about control and about his own body and signals. The book speculated that, because of the shame and rush of modern masturbation, men aren't getting the practice they need in that sense.

What about asking him to masturbate and seeing if he can hold off from ejaculation or orgasm. If he practiced every day, he would probably be able to learn more about himself and develop better control.
I will ask him to do that. I know his parents were very Christian. He told me when he was a young teen he got busted when masturbatting and the took him to a christian psychologists. Then to the church to pray the demon out of him. He has told me it taught him that if he was going to do it then it would need to be very quick and he always felt awful afterwards
Waywad-870 wrote:
I will ask him to do that. I know his parents were very Christian. He told me when he was a young teen he got busted when masturbatting and the took him to a christian psychologists. Then to the church to pray the demon out of him. He has told me it taught him that if he was going to do it then it would need to be very quick and he always felt awful afterwards


Your poor husband. That's awful sad

I would say then that this is definitely the problem - he basically trained his body to be quick, whilst at the same time feeling that it was shameful. That's probably why he doesn't want to get professional help.
Sounds like you know what the problem is at least. Might be a matter of retraining his brain/body that its not a shameful thing and learning to take longer etc. I like the idea of getting him to do it regularly and trying to hold out longer each time.

Also, do you guys use condoms/would he be open to the idea?! Normal condoms sometimes help slightly as they decrease the sensation slightly. Probably wouldnt make a huge difference but worth a try, but more than that, there are actually special condoms you can get which has a gel or something at the tip which apparently helps prevent/delay the guy from coming. You could try those. You can just buy them from the supermarket.
Supermummy wrote:
Sounds like you know what the problem is at least. Might be a matter of retraining his brain/body that its not a shameful thing and learning to take longer etc. I like the idea of getting him to do it regularly and trying to hold out longer each time.

Also, do you guys use condoms/would he be open to the idea?! Normal condoms sometimes help slightly as they decrease the sensation slightly. Probably wouldnt make a huge difference but worth a try, but more than that, there are actually special condoms you can get which has a gel or something at the tip which apparently helps prevent/delay the guy from coming. You could try those. You can just buy them from the supermarket.


Good idea! Retraining to last longer could also include oral and hands to mix up the training IYKWIM? @ Pinkie Pie that's all good. I was just trying to explain I didn't mean she should try to emasculate or belittle him. It would be an embarrassing situation for him that needs lots of different advice and solutions to find what works best smile
He can give you oral more and use some toys if he personally can’t last longer, did you ask him about this? I wouldn’t recommend to use any meds without professional consultation (but here is some viagra coupon from RELIABLE manufacturer if anyhow decide to try it).

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I'm getting to the point where I don't want to have sex with him because it's not worth it. At the same time I do want to have sex with him because I love him and want to be with him.
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