Huggies Forum

Money and Marriage Rss

I've noticed in a few threads that some of you used the term 'my money' or 'he wouldn't give me money' and it was sooooo weird to me that I thought I'd ask how come that you have separate finances? Did you always have separate accounts or is this related to being a SAHM? And how do you describe your house for example - ours or his?
For us everything is ours and has been since we got married. We got a joint account and both our incomes went in there.

Been that way ever since even when I took maternity leave and then went back to work part time instead of full time.



We have a joint account and he has his account that his wages go into but I have access to it. I call the money he earns our money and I call my payments my money tongue but we actually share it all smile
we have had a joint monies since moving in together and a joint account since not long after that. Its all ours, sometimes I have been the bigger earner, now he is, so it all evens out. I generally have most control over the expenses but not to a 'giving out an allowance' level smile

Aka G&L smile

I have picked up on this as well.

We have had only joint accounts since we bought our first home. All money goes into that account, all bills/savings are paid from that account and what little is left if any is spent by discussion.

We both came into the relationship with nothing and there has been an uneven contribution from each of us at times, my husband studied for longer than I did, however I am now not working so it balances out.

I know couples who have their own money and others where husbands get 'pocket money' while wives spend freely, not what I expect in a relationship but each to their own, my personal view is that if it is earned during a marriage/de facto relationship where there are children then after bills and savings any money should be shared regardless of who is earning it, and certainly not used as a threat to be withheld.
DH and I both have our pays paid into one account, and then bills get paid etc, and then we both get "sanity" money into our own accounts. Neither can see the others account, and it's all about being able to spend it without having to be accountable to the other about it, plus it's also these accounts we use for our present buying, so we don't actually know how much the other has spent. I think once we were both working full time our pays went into that account, prior to that we had a joint account for shared bills etc, and our pays went into the accounts we had before we started our relationship. Actually, that would be a lie, once we got married it was fully joint, but then I saved up for my own wedding dress, it wasn't part of our budget, I don't think DH really wants to know how much I spent on that!

But yea, everything is our money, and boy did he hear about it when he made a big purchase without me! Hasn't done it since though, and to be fair, I did know that he was going to buy the item, I just wanted to be there to help pick it smile
we have a joint account which we use for all things house and kid related, mortgages, house bills, groceries, childcare, school fees and all your normal day to day bills.

we have our own separate accounts which is mine and his and a certain amount of money is left in their from each of our wages each fn to do with as we please. clothes, haircuts, lunches etc. we keep it separate so we don't have to account to each other on how much we spend and what we spend it on and it also helps us to stick to a budget cos once that money is gone, its gone. if we want something pricey which we would deem a 'personal' thing (like a jigsaw saw thingy or a girls Melbourne trip) then we have to save up for it and pay for it out of our own money.
Spitfire19 wrote:
DH and I both have our pays paid into one account, and then bills get paid etc, and then we both get "sanity" money into our own accounts. Neither can see the others account, and it's all about being able to spend it without having to be accountable to the other about it, plus it's also these accounts we use for our present buying, so we don't actually know how much the other has spent.


This would be a benefit as DH doesn't know what money is spare as the budget is so tight so last year I didn't even get a card for my birthday sad (ok technically I did get perfume a month before my birthday which I bought in a pop up shop sale, but nothing on the day)
*mummsy* wrote:
Ever since DH and I got married money has been ours with a joint account.

We know each others PINs and passwords for everything including phones, emails and bank accounts. If its christmas time and we have bought each other a gift we just tell each other to not look at the transactions on our account smile


+1
Yep, thats what we do. Have one joint account all income goes in there, everything is paid from there and christmas or birthday time we just tell the other not to look at the account. smile
ProudToBeAMummy wrote:
Dh refuses to get a joint account with me, I have bee asking since we got married and according to him all the money we have is his.


sad
We have a joint account that was set up when we got our first home loan. Every thing is 'ours' and I think it became like that before we got married and opened a joint account. We have always been a team so having a joint account just makes it physically easier to do our banking.




*Mimsy wrote:
DP does 'give' me money. But he also gives himself the same amount of money. I'm not earning and we both feel we have the right to have our 'own' money to buy what we wish without accounting to each other. All his pay is otherwise divvied up between our different accounts, earmarked for different purposes.
When i start earning again I'll just top up all the different accounts.
Prior to baby, we had fairly separate finances other than bills, rent etc and a savings account.


Like you said you both got given money, so its not what I was referring to when one gives 'allowance' or withholds money from the other one. To me even this scenario is strange too, but I guess if it works for you guys. smile
Sign in to follow this topic