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Undesirable behaviour at school Rss

My son is almost (in 2 weeks) 6, and he has been at big school now for 7 weeks. I have been told on a few occasions he has been talking in class, bothering other kids and can't keep still. This doesn't surprise me as he is very boisterous and gets bored quite easily.

Today he was (according to the teacher) being rude in class during news time, so he was told he could not do his news today and if he behaved tomorrow they would let him do his news.

He has, since about week 3, come home telling me he has been put in the naughty corner, and been made to sit out of activities at his desk due to this behaviour.

My problem is this, he has been getting upset about being left out and put in the corner, and it seems to be souring his impression of school. I asked what the naughty corner is for and he said it's for bad people who do bad things. He is a very sensitive kid and when I used the time out corner (when he was about 4) he started identifying himself as bad, which is why I stopped, it's a method that causes more problems with him than solves them.

At preschool (the non-compulsory preschool that's just a couple of days a week, for clarification for those out of nsw) he was being quite physical in class and disruptive, so I came up with the 'gentle hands' solution, which was to draw happy faces on the back of his hands as a physical and constant reminder of his behaviour, and it worked wonders for him. I tried this last Friday, and when I approached the teacher to ask if it had worked, I was told she told him off for drawing on his hands, and they don't allow kids to have drawings on their hands.

I don't want to become 'that parent' at school but it has become clear to me there is a problem with both his behaviour and the teachers solutions to that behaviour, and I am going to go and have a chat with the teacher on Friday.

What I want to know is, what methods do you know of that have worked in your kids schools for behaviour management? I would like to approach the teachers with solutions not just accusations IYKWIM

Aka G&L smile

firstly, never call a child "bad". they should explain it is his BEHAVIOUR that is bad.

i'm not sure that you can change the schools or teachers approach to disipline. maybe make suggestions as far as what wold work with your son. if drawing smiley faces works then i would gentle ask that they make an exception.

maybe ask them what other disipline methods they use.

if all else fails maybe talk with the principle and or the school cousellor.

good luck

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

I also asked him if it made him want to behave better next time, after being sat out, and he told me it makes him sad and frustrated and made him want to do more bad things.

I have never called him bad or naughty, I have told him his behaviour is naughty, but he hears that and translates it to him being a bad or naughty person. That's why I stopped time out and saying 'naughty'. I can see the teacher reversing this and labeling him as naughty, which even Dr Phil will tell you will manifest itself in negative ways, not positive.

Aka G&L smile

Could the teacher pick a 'job' in the classroom for him to be responsible for? Not one of the ones that are the regular classroom jobs that the students rotate through but one specifically for him. Sometimes having something to be responsible for (and being praised for doing a good job at it) can really turn around students who are constantly experiencing negatives.

I know my daughter's school uses time out for class disruptions etc BUT they also have a positive reward focus with 'trophies' given for good choices (just a picture printed on paper). x number of trophies = a trip to the rewards room, and then every 300, 600, 900 etc trophies they get an arm band on parade (different colour for each level of trophies) to recognise students' good choices. Consequences for negative behaviour are needed in a classroom environment where you have to consider the educational needs of the whole class but it really needs to be balanced with a positive system where the positives should be the main focus.

I'd also suggest maybe trying to work out why he's acting out in class - is he bored, is he having trouble concentrating, is he being triggered by the behaviour of other students but then he's the one pulled up about it, is it that he has a different type of learning style compared to the teacher's teaching style (e.g.he's a kinesetic learner - so learns best when things are hands on but the teacher is a chalk and talk style - stand at the front, talk/write and expect the kids to pick things up because you're telling them the info etc) or any of a number of other reasons.

I think if you go in to talk to the teacher with the attitude of "I know there's an issue right now and I want to work with you to try to find a solution" most teacher's will respect that. All the best.

Perhaps they could try the traffic light system which is a lot gentler than just going straight to time out. It works by having the 3 lights, red, orange and green. Everyone has their name on it and they all start on green at the beginning of the day. If they do something wrong they move up a light and when they get to red, which most young children don't, they get time out or whatever their harsh punishment is. If the child is behaving they also move back down lights as well. The good thing is sometimes the teacher doesn't even need to say anything, once the kids learn the rules and consequences of each light the teacher can then move the child from green to orange and if the child watches this it is usually enough of a warning that they are doing the wrong thing and the teacher is watching them. Sometimes the young children don't know their written name yet so you can also use photos of their faces instead. This system has been used in all the kindy and pre primary classes I have worked in and it is effective ( I am an education assistant) I even have a traffic light on my wall which I always used for my older 2 (not anymore though lol) and as it was the same as at school it worked wonders at home too. I hope you can sort it out, it does seem pretty harsh for your son. Good luck, I hope I made sense in my description smile

I think you are right and this is a serious problem. So, you need to solve it consistently. You need to teach your child to respect the discipline. Only this way, it can do well at school. Children who can't make themselves work usually can't write good texts and they order uk assignments in the future.
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