Little Egg wrote:
Please don't have one sad
This comment actually upset me. I know it wasn't meant to be nasty, but for people who are considering having one child it's a real turn of the knife so to speak.
It's such a personal decision and people are constantly telling you your child is going to be a horrible person, or hate their life and that is not necessarily the case. Some people don't feel like they can have multiple children for all sorts of reasons, and things like this just make you feel awful.
OP, my son was this ] close to being an only child. I was happy with one. A few months before his 3rd birthday I started thinking that MAYBE I would like another one. Part of me wanted to have another child, and part of me thought that was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do. I felt like there was a war going on in my head.
I was so sick of hearing other peoples unwelcome opinions on the matter. Complete strangers would tell me I 'NEED' to have another one, I 'CAN'T' just have one. I wanted to punch them in the face.
People would say that only children can't take turns or share and are selfish and mean. Well I had a couple of people be quite surprised that DS didn't have any siblings because of how nice he was to other children and how well he shared and interacted with other children. If you teach your child these things they don't need a sibling to learn them.
My mum was talking to a lady one day and somehow the conversation got onto the fact that she was an only child (my mum didn't know this previously). Without telling this lady about me she asked her what she thought of being an only child and she said that she actually really enjoyed it. My mum asked her if she could tell me her story and she told her to let me know that being an only child wasn't a terrible thing like people make it out to be.
When my mum told me this I actually cried. I had had so many people tell me that I couldn't do it to my son. To hear from someone who actually knew what they were talking about that she had a wonderful life was great.
Anyway, why did I choose to have another one? Partly because I wanted people to shut up and leave me alone to be honest. The thing that made my final decision though was that DH wanted another one. I decided that if he wanted another one I could push aside my fear and have another one.
So I jumped in even though I was terrified about the whole thing.
Lastly, I just want to say - if you don't want to have another one, don't. Don't let people make you feel guilty for having one child. Just come up with something clever to say when people poke their nose in. I once told someone that I didn't need to have another one because 'I like the one I've got' tongue