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  5. It could only happen to me (bit of a rant sorry)

It could only happen to me (bit of a rant sorry) Lock Rss

Sorry in advance. I don't really have any. Friends to talk to but I need to rant.

Hubby and I haven't been good for a since our daughter was born. We argue a lot, sometimes daily. There's a lot of name calling and I'm starting to realise I haven't been happy in months. He calls be dense and stupid a fair bit, gets angry when our daughter cries constantly when I get home from work, always puts my parents down ( behind their backs of course and yes they are irritating but I can't change that they are my parents) and is such a grumpy ass that daily I think of leaving. I stay because deep down I still love him and also for Abby.

Tonight I get home from work and Abby's screaming for me to give her boob. She still cries while I cook dinner and is under my feet ( dh is on the couch). I tried to make custard while I ate but failed and ended up with a custard blowout through the microwave. Abby now screaming again- she's tired. Dh is yelling at me I always break things and how I can't have a new car cause I'll break it (wasn't even looking btw. Just like looking for the future). It finally clean the microwave, haven't eaten much, ask dh that when he's done with the cheese etc to put it back in the fridge, again more yelling from him. I finally get Abby in the shower and she doesn't step on the non slip mat and smacks her head on the tile. She looses it and even through a toddler screaming next to my ear, the shower going, and the door closed, I can hear him going off about the endless screaming. If i didn't have her with me I probably would've sat a cried in the shower.

He's not all bad, I don't know if it's his new job that he hates or that he can't handle a needy toddler that gets him in these moods. When he's happy he's funny and plays with Abby so well. I just feel under appreciated all the time cause I do everything for her and all he can see is that the house is messy or dinner isn't perfect. I just feel so alone
sad oh hun, I just wanted to send you some some hugs and strength. Maybe you could see if he will agree to go see a counsellor together?
Oh, I'm sorry. That's hard for you. Hugs. You need to talk to each other, get things off your chest and look at how you can improve things. See how it goes. If it just becomes insults or blame then you might want the help of someone who can keep the talking productive, like a counsellor.
Can your mum look after Abby so you can have some time with hubby?

If you would've sat in the shower and cried I would've done it anyway even with Abby. Sit with her in your lap and give her cuddles and cry. smile she won't mind.

Big hugs tho Hun. Sounds horrible.

If he were complaining about the crying while you were doing dinner I would've gone out there and said "you can comfort Abby and stop her crying or you can do dinner, which would you prefer?!" And again with eating. You deal with Abby then when he's eaten some get him to take a break and help with Abby so you can have some food too. The food in the microwave and Abby needs a shower/bed-which would you like to do DH, tidy up or start getting Abby sorted?!

Parenting is a dual responsibility and it shouldn't be entirely up to you to do that plus all the house stuff too. You both live in the house/eat the food you can both help prepare it/tidy up. You both created the child you can both help look after it.

I'm sure you've already tried all that and it hasn't gone down well so sorry, I don't have any advice as that's what I would be doing/saying. sad hope you can get it sorted soon. But if he's not willing to help or change and you're not happy then maybe you need to look at leaving.

Huge hugs!
His behaviour is absolutely not acceptable, but it sounds like he could be depressed to me, and that is causing the out of character behaviour (presuming he wasn't like this before). I think if he is willing a trip to the GP would be a great place to start, and if not joint counselling would be helpful. What people think of as symptoms to depression are often different to the reality. I hope life improves for you soon.

I know its very easy for me to sit here at a computer and say this : but either get him to cut it out (either by getting help and/or counselling) , or consider moving on. Neither you or your daughter need to live with that.

I hope you're feeling a bit better though, and I hope this can get resolved for you. smile

And come here and rant anytime smile

Whatever the reason he has behind his nastiness, it's not on. No reason is good enough to treat you like that sad

I've been married for 14 years and one thing I know about my man is he loves attention so naturally he feels put on the shelf every time I have a baby we have 3 kids and we would have had 3 divorces but we somehow stayed together and we love each other more every year our relationship is a passionate one sometimes love sometimes hate but I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think there is any such thing as an easy, good relationship ,like all good things they need work. And even after 14 years we are still butting heads over things but like I said I would'nt have it any other way because I know real love is a gift . I'm sorry for going on and on about my own relationship all I meant to say was Maybe you just need to take a step back and prioritise, maybe Hubby just needs a bit of TLC it sounds like you do too.
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