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  5. Am I over reacting? My parents aeem irresponsible with dd

Am I over reacting? My parents aeem irresponsible with dd Lock Rss

I've been struggling for years to get my parents to listen to me or treat me like an adult. Everytime something like this happens they brush me off .

My parents babysit on Sunday's while I work. They take her back to her place on the other side of town. My husband works shift work and it's a rotating roster ie one week mornings, next afternoons, the evenings etc but it's all over the place never in order.

Tonight my parents brought my 17mo daughter back to our place and had dinner with us. They told me an hour prior over the phone that she pulled a kitchen bench stool on top of her while she was trying to climb it after they'd told her no. They turned around for a second and that's when she fell back and it went with her. They told me it was fine and she cried but no blood, no bruising all ok.

So at 645 my daughter comes running into the house and comes straight for me and I notice her nose is swollen on one side and bright red. I ask them about it and they act like they've never seen it before and "must've just happened then". It's a straight line across the bridge and down one side. If I touch the good side and then it I can tell its baulbus not to mention the dead straight red mark. I call bullshit- it's obviously from the stool. She was happy and didn't flinch when I touched it though. I'm petrified she's broken it cause when she was asleep I looked up her nose with a light and saw a tiny amount of dried blood in her snot but on the good side. I'm now pissed that my parents don't seem to give a rats and are so blazay when their only grandchild hurts herself in their care. Other things have happened before and every time it happens and I get upset they threaten to not babysit which they know they are my only option. Childcare isn't an option and I don't have any other family. I think my parents are quite manipulative cause they twist my words all the time and turn everything into a fight. As a result I keep my mouth shut over many many things because being an only child I don't have anyone to back me up or to vent to. My husband has said tonight he's done with them. He hates how they don't care and knows they tell me things to make me shut up (like yes they use baby gates on their stairs....recently found out they don't anymore and let de run around). If I say anything it's going to turn into a HUGE thing and mum will play the victim again

Am I over reacting? I kind of don't want them around her anymore but then I'd have to stop working because I don't have anyone else
Not overreacting at all. No one manipulates you better than your own parents or children. I know all about it. I don't have the same issues with babysitting as you do, but I totally hear what you are saying? May I ask: Why is childcare not an option. Can you pay for a babysitter to come to your home? Perhaps if you are not happy with your parents way of doing things (and I don't blame you) you may need to get non-family professional help who will go by your rules and respect you as their employer.
It's the cost and also my husband just flat out doesn't like her being with people we don't know but mainly the cost
No, you are not overreacting.

I suggest you put your daughter in childcare. Try and cut back on expenses somewhere else.

I would never leave my child/ren with my family and have full faith in him being looked after completely at a childcare centre, with qualified staff who know what to do in case of sickness and emergency.

My DS attends 2 days. After the rebate, it dosen't work out to be that much out of pocket.

A small price to pay for our peace of mind.
Do you have any friends that you could talk to about giving them some money to look after DD for you on Sundays? That way it's not a stranger but may not be as expensive as finding some sort of babysitter/care would be given you need it for a Sunday when day cares aren't traditionally open?

As for the 'are you overreacting' question ... in this case no. Accidents happen, fair enough BUT when an accident happens the person caring needs to acknowledge what happened and any injury that occurs because of it and take responsibility for it. Sounds to me like they're just brushing off what happened in the first place as 'no big deal' and completely ignoring the fact that there was an injury because of it and that would be enough for me to say 'nope, not worth it any more'.

I agree with everyone else, try and find someone else to babysit. If your parents keep threatening to refuse to babysit, it sounds like they don't really want to do it in the first place. The feeling that your child isn't being looked after properly by your own family must be such a horrible thing to endure. Better to take action now than wait until something serious happens.
Hope you can find someone more caring and reliable.
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