First of all, congratulations on the arrival of your daughter to your family.
May I say that I think it is terrible that your doctor says her lack of sleep etc is a result of something you uare doing wrong. I don't believe that for a second. With every baby/parent there is a learning process. There could be any number of reasons she is not sleeping. Colic, reflux, sore back (my brother had a dislocated something in his back when he was born and wouldn't settle. Mum took him to the Dr who said he was fine. The maternal child and health nurse said no there is a problem and referred him to a chriopracter. One session to fix the dislocation and he was right as rain). I would urge you to discuss what is happening with your Maternal and Child Health Nurse. She may have many suggestions. Also, sleep clinic may be an option. (Some are day sessions, some are overnight).
I know it is harder for you as your husband is away. You are probably exhausted. I hope he comes home soon. When he does, it is important that you get some time for yourself. Even if it is just an hour a night to have a long soak in the bath, or read a book in bed.
Sending you a big hug.