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Stay at home Mum......and proud of it! Rss

I guess this is my little whinge for the day!

I am just wondering if there are any other stay at home mums who often feel forced to defend their decision.

I worked all the way up to the end of my pregnancy and took 12 months maternity leave. Eight months in I decided that I didn't want to return to work and resigned. Since people have found out I feel that I am always defending my decision.

My work hours were not negotiable and I felt that 8.30 til 5.30 was too bigger day and I would hardly ever see my daughter. My inlaws even said I was crazy to chuck in a full time job, but I think that they feel I am sponging of their son. My husband is fine with it and fully supports my decision, so I guess their opinion doesn't matter. My daughter doesn't go without, and financially we are doing ok.

So, my question is, is anyone else made to feel like this? I don't make working mothers mothers feel like they have to explain themselves to me, nor do I feel that they are wrong. What suits one person doesn't suit another.

Also are any working mums made to feel like they have to explain themselves to other people?
I don't think it matters what you choose to do, someone will judge you and you will feel like you have to explain your decision! I'm not due until March and I have been told that my boss doesn't expect me back for 12 months but after that its full-time or not at all (he has a "thing" about part-timers and will not let me try it or try working from home). I have had issues with my job for quite some time anyway and feel that I'll probably wind up in exactly the same position you are in right now. Don't let other people's comments get to you - you are doing what feels right for you and your family so no one else has the right to judge you.

Mum to Caitlin & Owain

Hi Donna - Its your decision so don't worry about what other people say. I am currently on maternity leave also and have decided not to go back to work. I have twins sons (1year olds) and was pondering whether to go back for 1/2 or 1 full day (my boss was ok with the cut back of hours) but after weighing everything up have decided not to go back. I don't have to because financially we are doing well and i feel that if i do go back i'll miss out on too much.
Im from SA also - where are you from? If you'd like to chat my email is
bye ... Monica

moni SA twin boys 17mnths

Hi Paula thanks for ur reply. Good luck with your decision, it's not easy to throw in a good job. I don't regret doing it though. As I say.....I like my new job better, even if the pay is lousy.
Hi Donna

I'm the opposite to you. I unfortunately HAVE to go back to work in January, fulltime. I did speak to my work and asked if I could go back part time (4 days) and they said no.

My husband and I would prefer me to stay at home and bring up my daughter but finacially we have no choice and living in Sydney our mortgage is quite high.

My MIL called me one day and said that when I go back to work I am going to be so stressed and busy. Am I able to look for another job in which I could work part-time. (Geese, thanks for the support) I caught up with my sister in law (husbands side) last week. She has 2 boys, 4 yrs and 1 yr she is not working. We were discussing me going back to work and she comes out with "you are going to regret it" I told her that I don't have a choice!!! Financially we need to. Of course if I were like you Donna, I would stay at home with my darling daughter. Lucky you for being able to. Enjoy it and just ignore what other people have to say. If you say white of course they will say black. Why does everyone think that they can stick their noses in and why don't people THINK before they speak as they can be so incensitive. I am so pee'd of with my SIL at the moment it really upsets me everytime I think about what she said.

Julie, mum to Abby 05/02/04 & Joel 12/04/07

Hi Julie. Nice to know it's not just stay at home mums that cop it!

You are so right though, people will always disagree with you no matter what you do.

January isn't far away. I was due back then too. You will be fine. I'm sure once you settle back in to it you will adapt. In laws can be the biggest pains can't they lol.

What do you do? Is ur job stressful?
Hi Donna

Yeah January isn't far away, infact its way to close and just keeps getting closer. I just noticed that Abby is 5 days older than Tahlia. How quickly has the year gone, to think they are 10 months already.

I am so not looking forward to going back to work. Just the thought of being away from Abby for such a long time. She has started daycare, just to get her used to it next year. This week she has just started 2 days. It is so upsetting to see how upset they get when you leave. Lucky you and Tahlia won't have to go through that.

I work for Commonwealth Bank and luckily its not really a stressful job. I'm certainly not going to stay any longer than necessary each day. I'm going to become a clock watcher and as soon as 5.00 i'm out the door.

Julie, mum to Abby 05/02/04 & Joel 12/04/07

THat's good that your job isn't too stressful. Abby will adjust. Once they make little friends they love it. You will be the one feeling rejected when all of a sudden she waves goodbye and doesn't cry lol.

I worked in Advertising for the local paper here. I couldn't imagine coming home after a crappy day and then dealing with my little night time monster.

Our bubs are close together. THe time has gone so quickly. Is Abby on the move much? I have a lazy one so just curious as to how much she's doing.
HI guys,
I would love to be a SAHM, but I have to go back in Jan. I work in childcare, so I'll be looking after other peoples chn. My option ws fulltime or nothing, and I didn't want fulltime at all. I put a little pressure on them, and I'm now able to go bach partime. We plan for me to only go back for 12 months while we save to build our house. I'm sure the next 12 months won't go as quickly as the last 12.
I had a very successful career but as soon as I found out we were expecting twins, I knew I couldn't return to work in the same capacity. My job required long hours and carried a lot of stress due to the responsibilities I had. It was a fairly easy decision to make - I did not want to miss a single minute of watching my babies grow up. I figured that they would be "that age" only once. Money could not make up for what I would have missed if I wasn't there.

They are now more than 7 months old and I have not regreted my decision. It would be nice to have the extra money - but you can't buy the wonderful feeling you get when your baby gives you the biggest smile when you go pick them up first thing in the morning...

Twins' Mum, VIC, E & A born 4/04

Hi Donna

When I picked Abby up today from daycare the lady said that today has been her best day yet, so she is starting to get used to it and hopefully enjoying it. As long as she is happy to see me in the afternoon, I don't mind about the crying and waving in the morning, infact it would probably make me feel better going to work seeing her happy when I leave. I so wish that I didn't have to go back. You are so lucky. You make sure you tell your inlaws that Tahlia is a lucky little girl having her mummy staying with her.
I've decided, no matter what a crappi day i've had a work, i'm going to make myself forget about it once I've walked out the door. I know once I see Abbys face i will have forgotton all about it.

Abby has been a very active baby. She is now crawling, standing up holding onto things etc. There are 7 in my mthrs group and Abby and another girl are quite similar being very active the others are just starting to move around. They are all different. My newphew who is 6 weeks older that Abby is bum shuffling, he isn't very active other than that. Tahlia will move when she is ready.

Take care

Julie, mum to Abby 05/02/04 & Joel 12/04/07

hi donna and other mums

with my first child now eight i stayed at home until he started grade one after that i got a part time job cleaning that was last year and now i will be quitting next year and my second child is due in may and i will be a stay at home mum with this child until he or she starts school and i have also had to explain myself even to the lady im working for now as she wants me to come back straight after i have the baby just like she did when she had her children. i love being a stay at home mum and wouldn't change it


dena,vic, 12 year old and 3 year old boys + ????

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