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adoption of baby due to race!! Lock Rss

ok i need to vent my frustrations!! a girl i went to school with (and actually thought was a nice person) has decided she wants to give her baby up for adoption(shes due any day now) ok so its her choice but the reason she doesnt want this kid is because the babies father is a dark skinned maori and she doesnt want her parents to get to know it for sum reason (it makes me totally mad almost to the point i wanna smack her head in any ideas on how i could TRY change her mind i mean this IS a tiny human being and she dont care she doesnt want a little brown baby i hate her now but i just want her to see that colour means nothing and that this kid will give her the most love ever (oh and the fathers telling her to get rid of it as well i can see right thru this chic i can see she wants this kid but shes trying to keep everyone else happy(we even went to my 38 week scan together and she literally begged the lady to scan hers!!)she is only 17 but shes really onto it! whats up with this chic should i just leave things be or what??? its so sad

cherie,mum to Jacob born oct 2004

omg, i really feel for this girl, she firstly should have thought about contraception if she didn't want to have a baby... i really think she should speak to a counselor about it, you just can't adopt a baby out because of its colour! If she really does not want to be a mum and raise this wonderful child on her own then maybe adoption is going to be better for the child but i relaly would encourage her to speak to someone about it before she gives birth.
I think this girl's parents NEED to support their daughter whatever happens to her, brown baby or not! If she really wants to keep the baby she needs to discuss this with her parents as she may regret her decision to adopt. Also she is deceiving her parents knowledge of the baby's father, that will be another consequence she will have to deal with regardless. Ive been to New Zealand as my husband is from Wellington as he has cousins that are mixed race and they are very decent people. Im sure there are many people there that are mixed, they are not that segregated are they?

JZ mum to Bradley 17/08/03 and Heidi 25/02/06

Who is to say that the baby will be dark skinned? If she is fair it may take after her. Even if she isn't, it may still be quite fair. I have two half-isters - one is translucent pale white and the other dark chocolate brown (and they are full sisters). Its a very silly reason to give up her baby but she may have other reasons that she isn't ready to share. Maybe she is very prejudiced herself (even though she is in a relationship with a Maori). I think she needs to have some serious counselling before making a final decision and if you can be there to make sure she gets it then that is the best that you can do (i.e. make sure the hospital staff or whoever it is that handles adoptions knows her "reason" so they can make sure she talks it through). They don't allow you to sign the final papers until some days after the birth anyway so she may change her mind when she mets her baby.

Mum to Caitlin & Owain

from what you said it sounds more like the parents are the ones with the problems... sounds like they are very racist and your friend doesnt know how they would handle having a part maori grand child. maybe her giving the baby up for adoption would be a good thing, for the baby anyway. being part of a loving family as opposed to one ashamed of your skin colour would be preferable i would think. and i dont think smacking her up the side of the head would help either...
please if you can talk to her give her my email address
i was only 17 (2 weeks for i was 18) when i had my son it is scary but it isnt impossible. It doesnt matter what race the baby is it NEVER matters what race a baby is aslong as its your baby it will bring you more love and happiness than anything in the world. At the end of the day it is her choice but if she would only talk to other people who have been through it or have advice for her it may help.

BeC TeeN MuM oF RHYLee BoRN 11/12/03

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