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New mum who doesn't have mum of her own Rss

Hi Everyone hope everyone had a great Christmas and got alot of nice things how did all the children find christmas?

My little girl was very cranky. Ashlyn had more fun trying to wrap the presents rather than unwrapping them. We had a strange day at first as we had to go to the outlaws as we are called.

Ashlyn's Grandfather passed away just before Christmas and as we are seperated we get ignored from the family. So now I've come to the conclusion that if they want to see Ashlyn they can call me.

Her father didn't even turn up to see Ashlyn on Christmas even though he was invited and said he was coming. He does this kind of thing all the time. I don't know what to do anymore. He sees her about every three months and only for about one hour which I think is not good enough.

I get very depressed thinking about these things. Oh well enough about my worries.

Hope you all have a Wonderful New Year and enjoy the wonder of your children.
Dear Michele, I am sorry to hear things have turned out that way I also have a friend in the same position as you are,and as I am a Counsellor she tends to confide in me about things ,As I told her the best thing she can do is,to keep the contact going when he wants it I know it sounds all one sided but this way he cannot come back and say you weren't cooperative later on, when your daughter is older, I always say it is their loss not mine and I have the best gift and not he or anyone else can take that away from you.keep your chin up and put all your effort into your little angel as she is the one who needs you.

Lea,34

Hi Lea,

Thanks for your reply, It just gets frustrating when I tell her that he is coming and he doesn't turn up Ashlyn gets upset. Now I don't tell her that he is supposedly coming that way she doesn't get hurt & its a surprise when he does turn up. I try to put all my energy into bringing up my little angle she is such a cutie. She came runner up in Little Aussie recently for Smiler, she was sick had conjutivitis and the alful flu at the time. It was a surprise that she won.
Dear Mish, thanks for returning my message,I believe you and all the other single mums out there deserve a medal especially when you start out as Two and become one,I will be here to talk to you when ever you need someone to talk too,I may not have all the answers but I can certainly help you through bad times, As a mum of 3 and 1 due anytime actually I am over my date which was the 23 Dec,I can pretty much help you out with most baby problems as well,Just remember I will try and be here for you so you don't feel alone,Take care and hope your New Year is a happy one,keep up the good work with your little angel,Lea

Lea,34

Thanks for the support Lea. Its nice to know that there are people like yourself out there willing to help us through this.

Wow having 4 kids is pretty amazing. I hope everythings goes well for the upcoming birth.

My little angel will not go to sleep by herself she sleeps in my bed with me and has done so since we left her father. She likes being able to touch me when she is asleep. Although sometimes I don't see her for up to a week because of my work commitments maybe that is the reason. Also she won't eat alot of food.She will not eat normal food apart from junk.She still eats baby food and even getting her to eat that is a struggle. Do you have any ideas on what I can do about her eating habits?

Dear Michele,sorry havenĂ˝ got back to you sooner,firstly with the little angel sleeping with you,this could be a number of reasons 1 being that even though she is young she feels that her father has abandoned her,so she will stick like glue to you in fear of being seperated from you as well,I have my 5 year old that at times will still come into bed with me,it is a pain as I don't get alot of sleep,my other two were exactly the same,but both the older two now go to bed on their own with no hassles,they stayed in my bed until they were 4/5 yrs as well,as far as angel only wanting to eat junk food this can also be a comfort thing as well,My suggestion on this one is to persevere with the tantrums don't give in to her I know this is hard when she keeps going,You can use the junk food as a reward if she tries and stays in her bed for lets just say 2 nights and allow her one night in your bed just so she doesn't feel abandoned, tell her she can have a pressy if she sleeps in her own bed,even go to the extreme of wrapping the lollypop in paper that maybe she has drawn herself,

Lea,34

dear mish had to send extra message ran out of room, dealing with her eating habits ,My daughter at 8 still fusses over eating she will have a sausage and she will not eat much more,Tammie has been a terrible eater since a baby,Try mashing potato pumpkin cream or milk and a small amount of vegemite mixed in,how old is she now,with you working I know it is hard to prepare a meal for her,if you can try to make a few days supply of the above and freeze it that way she will have some on hand, I hope these suggestions help you out if this doesn't work then maybe a talk to your Gp or clinic nurse might have other ideas,let me know how you go,lea

Lea,34

Dear Lea, thanks for the suggestions will give them a go and see how they work. Ashlyn will be 2 in March.
Anything happening on the baby front yet?
Hi there haw are you going?

I too have lost my mum it will be 11 years ago on the 10th. I was 20 years old.

I found it hard during my pregnancy as this was my mums first grandchild to be. She was dying of cancer when i was pregnant. My daughter was required to stay in hospital a while after she was born and my mum did get to hold her once as she was in the same hospital. My mum passed away when i left hospital to go home and didn't get to see her before she passed away. Now she has 7 grand children and 1 to be born that she hasn't got to see grow up. But i think shes watching down.

I don't have any sisters or had any friends with babies so i just had to do what i felt was right. There are however parenting groups which i have found useful with my last child. Have you joined one?

I hope i can be of some help to you if you need to ask any questions i'm sure you will get a lot of useful help from the parent exchange and me.

becky,S.A

Hi All,
I too lost my mum when I was 22 and I did find it very hard. I remember my wedding day was very hard because I originally wanted her too walk me down the isle if I ever got married. Nothing against my dad, but I thought what is stopping the mum from doing it as well.
Now I have three kids under 3 and there is nothing like having your own mum around. I know she is here watching though and taking care of us all.
I do miss her very much.

Sydney,twin boys 22/10/04+girl 26/03/02

HI Michelle.
My mum past away when I was 13.
I have 2 children a 3yr old daughter and a 6 month old son.
I am 22 I am still grieving and cannot even go to her gravesight because it hurts to much.
My partner doesnt have a mum either.
I am all alone and I have no sisters only 2 younger brothers.

~

Hi there, unfortuntaley I don't know how you're feeling but a very close friend of mine gave birth recently to her first child, and she doesn't have a mum either. Her biggest support network are her girlfriends, and we constantly are giving her praise and are there to listen and offer advise whenever she needs it. We have been invaluable to her and I was just wondering if you have any girlfriends that could do the same for you?? Otherwise, why not look at joing a playgroup, swimming lessons or joining a mums with bubs walk in the park in your area. Since giving birth 6 months ago, I have found mothers to be extremely supportive and are so friendly and willing to make new friends as we are all in need of some good advice. I can recommend a fantastic book which i call my bible - "Baby Love" by Robin Barker. Everything you need to know is in this book and has become part of my daily reading. If you feel like a chat, you are more than welcome to email me at devnic@bigpond.com. Have a great day, Nicole. PS. I have a 6 month old daughter named Sophia Rose. What is your little girls name??

Nicole NT

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