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New mum who doesn't have mum of her own Lock Rss

Dear Nadine & Sarah,

Thankyou for your kindness. It hard bringing babies into the world and not having your mum to share it with. I know it sounds silly, I mean she has been dead since I was 14 years old and I am now 29, that's a lot of years...

Now that I am pregnant with my second child, I feel all that I am missing out with her again... it just hurts me in a place that no one can see.

It doesn't matter how strong we are, we all have a weakness... and mine just happens to be not having a mum to turn to.

It is so nice to know there are others out there like me and to know that so many people care. I have been so overwhelmed by all the lovely people who have responded to my post and I can't thank you enough.

I have, and continue to make so many great new friends through this site and for that I am truly greatful...

To all those big hearted people out there... all I can say is thankyou for warming my heart.

Michelle smile
Hey, that's what friends are for, right? To be there when others need you!!

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

I know how you feel. My mum passed away few years ago and I have just moves to Adelaide about 9 months ago and have not made friends with lot of people of my age group so most are either single or not thinking about babies right now. Steve and I are expecting out first baby in March and we are both parents for the first time. I do have few medical problems and been 36 I fall into the high risk factor. As the time is coming nearer I am starting to feel very unsure about coping with things overall. Steve is not one to be a home type of person so I don't get much help at all with things around the home. Is there anyone who is feeling the same way??? My e-mail is Hope to hear form other mums or mums to be.


hello i would like you to know that i agree with you about the information and shortcuts you miss out on when you dont have a mum. i have a 14mth old baby girl. i lost my mum 6 years ago im now 22 and really enjoying motherhood

catherine mum to tasmin and Liam


It just so nice to know that you are not alone in your feelings. When I first wrote this post I had no idea really that there are so many young mums out there that don't have a mum of their own. It gives me some comfort to know that there are others who go through all the joys of motherhood sucessfully without their mums. I'm not saying it is easy or gets easier. I miss my mum every day of my life. My daughter is 13 months old now and there are so many questions I would have liked to ask my mum. But we are all strong and we find a way. There are so many beautiful people out there willing to answer your questions, all you have to do is ask. Thanks for responding to this post and please know you are not alone. smile Michelle
Hi everyone,

Thought i would pop back in to say hi again! It is amazing how many of us mumless mums are around, and we are all here to support one another!

My daughter looks at the picture i have of my mum and dad together, and calls my mum, my dads partners name. It breaks my heart that i can't explain it to her properly! Don't get me wrong she is a lovely lady, but i want my daughter to know that it is nanny Faye.

Thankyou everyone for being so caring,

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

Hi Tepe,

Everytime I come to this site and see another reply to this post I just feel so overwhelmed.

I too look forward to the day when my daughter is old enough for me to share all the beautiful stories about my mum, her nanna with her. I have lots to tell and my memory is very long...

To all those mum's without mum's "you go girls" You are my inspiration.

A great big thanks to you especially Tepe. smile

It has been ages this this post was added, but I would love to hear from any other mum's in this situation. Michelle
my mother died about 4 yrs ago and unfortunately we did not get along, I don't have sisters or female cousins.
What I do is a lot of reading such as this website, use yr maternal child health nurse, join a playgroup to meet other women with children the same age or slightly older because most likely they have experienced things you are going through eg development of yr child, sleep deprivation etc so you can relate to others with the same issues and share advise.
A lot of things I do now although I don't have my mother I remember things she did when my brothers were born such as what she feed them, playing games etc.

Vic, 3 y.o boy

Hi Scorpion,
Thanks for your reply and suggestions. It is appreciated. As I am sure other mums out there without a mum would feel the same. Michelle
I have been reading everyone replys and i just brings tears to my eyes(which happens whenever i think of my mum)She died just before my 19th b'day(im 32 now) and i still miss her sooo much. I can relate to what the others have said about feeling ripped off, and sometimes angry. My mother-in-law is fantastic but when James was born (30.12.02)i got really angry at her for silly little things when she was justbeing helpful. looking back i was mad because she wasnt my mum and mymums never going to hold James and tell me what a wonderful mother i was going to be.

I know im lucky to have my boy and other family i can rely on but this hole in my heart sometimes feels so big that i dont know what to do.

Its funny how all these feelings resurface when you pass major milestones in your life. When i was planning my wedding seeing all the girls out with thier mums was really hard and when i got preganat i felt the same.Does anyone else get really jelous? I just cant help my self, when a girlfriend says their mum is comming to stay or theri gong shopping together, i feel a pang of jelous over whats missing in my life. I'd love to hear from anyone who wants to write Marianne

marianne, Qld , mum cheeky monkey 14months

Hi Marianne,

I know what you mean about the jealousy. My friend was fighting with her mum over something silly and she was winging to me about it. I got so mad and told her to grow up and appreciate what she has. I was so jealous of what she has and their silly fight just upset me.
I have felt ripped off so many times in the past few years. What you feel is normal... I will chat more with you soon.

Michelle smile
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