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BULLYING AT SCHOOL....... Lock Rss

I am interested to know everyones view on bullying at school, in the play ground, where ever! Obviously tis answer will differ for each age group, however, I am teaching my kids NOT to walk away. Now this stance goes against the education departments view, psyciatrists views etc etc. But I do not want my children growing up thinking that they have to take [email protected] from children who are often vindictive, nasty and demeaning to others. Their reaction to being bullied needs some boundaries, but I beleive that in this day and age where the weak are getting weaker and the strong are getting stronger (dog eat dog world) then these bullies will not target my children if they realise that they will stand up for themselves. Does anyone have a point of view that may prove my stance wrong? EVERYONES OPINION IS VALUED.........

My DS is only 2 so it is not something that I have thought about in depth so far. I will be interested in the replies though.

My first thought when I think of bullying though is that if it comes down to physical violence, I would prefer my DS walk away and not get hurt. But every mother probably thinks that too smile]

i think in this day and age you need to stick up for yourself and i will be teaching my children that, though there may be a fine line between standing up for yourself and being a bully back its a tough one.
My idea is that children need to learn to stand up for themselves. as i have seen (especially highschoolers) try to walk away and they get pushed over from behind or followed and beaten up. I dont believe in violence, but i do believe in self defence.
My children will be told that sometimes its best to walk away tell them they are being silly.
But if the other person hits them, hit them back twice as hard.
But never be the one to hit first.
I have seen to many people get beaten up because they dont stand up for themselves.

But i will also teach them not to get into the situation in the first place, to be nice to everyone and not get on peoples bad sides.
And talk to an adult before it gets to the point where they have to defend themselves against a bully.

The last thing i want is for my children to be violent, but if it comes down to standing up for themselves or being beaten up. I would rather they stand up for themselves.

Then again you hope your child is never the one that becomes a bully.
As a parent if we are told our child is being a bully we dont like to believe it and sadly some parents ignore this.

My 7yr old daughter has been bullied both at her first school and then again at her second.
At the first school she had her food and lunch money taken from her. She is a tall girl but is thin (128cm&22kg) and the same people that were taking her food and money kept telling her that she was FAT so then she started to make herself sick. The teachers did nothing to stop what was happening because as they said they cant do anything until they actually see it. Well both DH and I decided to take her out of that school and put into one that she wanted to go to.

So she starts at the new school and the first day there she is pulled aside by 2 grade6 girls and was told that they would make sure she was okay as long as she would buy them something at the canteen. She stood up to them and said NO, she didn't cry, get upset or anything the only thing she did was tell the teacher and she made sure that my daughter was fine.
But the following day when she was waiting to be served at the canteen one of the girls that was nasty the day before kicked her in the mouth and knocked out her tooth again my daughter didn't get upset she just told the teacher and left it at that. Since the two problems she had in her first week she has had no others.

I am in no way saying that my daughter is an angel but she also isn't a smarty pants either. She is a quiet little girl that wants to be friends with everyone. She loves going to school and seeing her friends and loves her teacher.

I can't stand the way some schools won't do anything until a teachers see's it because by the time a teachers is able to see it it could be late.

Sorry for the rant but bullying **** me like you wouldn't believe.
[Edited on 21/05/2007 by Alison]
I believe bullying in school effects kids for life, especially if its bad bullying or goes on for an extended period of time.

I agree, teach them to stand up for themselves but at the same time try to teach them not to be the agressor or instigator. Even good kids are bullies from time to time.
I'll be teaching my kids to stand up for themselves.
Good topic by the way smile]

As a person who was bullied for most of my school life, I know first hand what effect it has on the rest of your life. I too teach my children to stand up for themselves, never to hit first, but if someone hits you, flatten them!!!!!! I am not ashamed to say this, if my ds ever gets in trouble for sticking up for himself at school, the teachers are going to hear from me!!! I am a staunch believer in peacefull solutions and not to resort to violence, but I also know what bullying can do to a kid, so LOOK OUT BULLIES my kids will NOT be putting up with it. We have full intentions on sending ALL of our kids boys and girl to self defence classes at a martial arts academy, they run anti bullying classes for kids as young as 3 and 4. This includes anti bullying tactics, what to do if a bully gets violient, stranger danger and self diciplin, something that I think should be taught to ALL young children.

Hello

Intersting this subject has come up. My son, who is in his first year of school (pre-primary) is being bullied at school at the moment and nothing is being done about it. I have had numerous phones calls that he has had a pencil poked at his eye, lucky it missed the actual eye and he can still see, he has been bitten on numerous occasions and strangled. The teachers just don't do enough about it, and they don't see a need to have more teachers outside watching kids at playtime when most of the bullying happens. My son never does it back, he knows that is isn't nice, but it is getting to the point that we should be teaching him to stand up for himself. It has taken nearly half the year for something to finally be done, whether parent meetings will actually do anyting, I am about to find out, but I am at my wits end as to what to do about it. If I teach him to defend himself, he will be the one getting into trouble, because he will be the one who is caught, not the actual person who started it, it is just so unfair. I have threated to take him out of the school and start afresh, but that is unfair on my son, he has so many friends and that is letting the bullies win. I just hate sitting down and watching / listening to what is happening to my son at school and me not being able to do a thing about it. There are days when I don't wont him to go to school, but he loves school, just not the bullying. Cross fingers the problem gets sorted and it stops. Am hoping it is just a phase, first year of school, kids being kids, showing who is the boss of the classroom!

Heather

Hey Roie, that sounds like a great thing to put my boys in. Where did you hear about these classes and where are they held?
I would also like to put them into Ballroom dancing. LOL, what a combination. They can Cha-Cha over to any bully and tackle them to the ground. He He He!

Hey guys, My own children are far too young at this point to be worrying about it but my 11 year old sister and my 9year old brother (I'm from a very big family) are living with us. And we have just enrolled them in Karate classes. I was bullied really badly in both primary and highschool and ended up being sexually assulted in the 10th grade by another student. I am really for children learning to defend themselves. and the good thing about karate is that they teach them to defend themselve but also teach them to learn how to know when they really need to defend themselves. I have told my siblings and will tell my own children to defend themselves if they feel they need to but never be the one to throw they first punch because even if it was self defensive they will be seen as the bully.
I have worked in the education system for 5 years and I agree that you have to teach your child to stand up for themselves!
The system is pathetic! Schools are less inclined these days to tackile bullying as the teachers/principals etc are themselves scared of the bullys parents!!
I have seen it too many times, the angry parent coming to have a serve atthe teacher cos their angleic little bully was punished for just 'being a boy' or because the other kids are 'sooks'.
My son is very sensitive and I was worried about him being bullied at school...well it has turned out that my son is the bully!! Well if I didnt put a stop to that!!

So I highly commend all you mummies out there that are going against the system and their pathetic views on bulying and grievence procedures and teaching your children to protect themselves at school.

Mummy to 3 little goblins

I agree that they need to be able to stand up for themselves - that's one of the reasons we started DS at Karate just after he turned 3. He's learnt so much since going there. They are really responsible in the way that they teach the kids self defence - they always tell the kids that Karate should only be used as a last resort. They show them moves to get them out of physical situtations as quickly as possible and hopefully without getting into a full on brawl. Along with the physical training they also do lots of exercises to boost their self confidence/esteem - which I think is even more important than being able to physically defend themselves - as a few of you have mentioned, bullies tend to pick on the "weaker" and/or less confident kids. I think it's also really important that we have a good relationship with our kids so they know they are safe to tell us anything.
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