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Help!! Mother-in-law Lock Rss

Has anyone any suggestions as how best to deal with a very neurotic MIL who is coming to stay for a holiday soon (since having Amy we moved from Sydney & her other visit which lasted for 3 very long weeks was a shocker). We only ever saw his mother a couple of times a year in the 8yrs my partner & I had been together before our little Amy came along then when I became pregnant things changed. I knew I was going to be in for it when she asked me if she could come in for the labour, I said no, that the first day of her birth would be our time as a family but that didn't stop her from camping out at the hospital when I was in labour or from being in the room with Amy when I was came back from recovery (I had an emergency c.). Things since haven't been any better, probably to many to mention (dont want to bore the pants off you all). It came to a head when she rang me a week ago & told me to please, please, please watch Amy while she sleeps at nite as a little boy died of cot death - her exact words - to say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. I just couldn't believe someone could be so stupid as to say that to a mother. It has got to the stage were I can't even stand to talk to her. Any help would be greatly appreciated

Leesa, NSW, Amy 27.05.04

It makes it so hard she is probably so excited and is just wanting to help and be cautios.

If she is coming to stay make sure you tell her and partner/hubby that you have (a routine) even if you dont, let her know what you do and dont want.

I get on really well with my MIL so it is hard for me to comment, but good luck.

Sydney,twin boys 22/10/04+girl 26/03/02

How awful for you. Does your partner know you feel this way? I have real trouble talking to mine at times too, but she doesn't tend to interfer (thank goodness). I too can't believe the insensitivity of telling you to watch your baby while she sleeps. I know she is just worried and trying to help but there is a limit. Does she have to stay with you? Since K's birth, have no quest room, so that put a stop to well meaning family coming to stay.
I don't know what advice to give you except maybe talk to your partner about your feelings and try to get him to back you up in your 'house rules' and routines with your baby, maybe even make up a routine if you have too.
Good luck

#1 28/11/04, #2 due 6/3/08

Hi Leesa,
Maybe you could get some info also on cot death, or get your CHN to do a list for you. See if she couldn't put in that a child is more at danger with a mum who has had no sleep (after watching them all night!!) than they are of cot death.
Cause it sounds like you MIL has completely forgotten what it is like to have a child! Is your partner an only child? Just wondering if this is where some of her behavior is also coming from.
Otherwise tell her she can blo#@y well sit there all night watching and all day running around after everyone for a few days and see how silly her suggestion is.
As for getting away from her, have friends ring up and invite you over -or even make up imaginary lunch dates with a friend, and go to the town library for some peace!! At home, send her to do the shopping for you and just let her know that you would like a bit of time to yourself every now and then, so she should go out for a walk or something.
Sorry if I've rambled, but I know how you feel about having an unwanted house guest. I had the same problem with my FIL about 4 months ago. He only stayed for 2 weeks, but I was ready to boot him up the backside by the time he left!!
Good luck!!!!!!!!!

DD1 July 2004 DD2 August 2007 DS September 2009

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