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RUDE ... or is it just me? Lock Rss

Hey, my friend is getting married in November; she has been talking about her wedding ever since she got engaged about 12-18months ago!! Anyway, in the beginning I was so excited because my son will be almost 2 then, and I was really looking forward to dressing him in a little suit etc. Then, recently, she told me that it had just been decided kids are NOT welcome at the reception!! How mad was I when I heard that!! The wedding is on the other side of town, and she has the nerve to tell me that I can take my son to the ceremony, then come all the way home to leave him with eiher my mother or my M.I.L, then go back to the other side of town for her reception!! Aargh!! I am fuming, and am in two minds about whether to even bother attending the ceremony or the reception!! Am I being unreasonable ...?

eìí? well ... it started with a kiss eìí?-3-064

Hi Brandons mum,
I had no kids at my wedding 5 years ago either not even family children were allowed only to the church and not the reception, we only had one couple that had a problem with this and they just didn't come, but at the end of the day it is the Bride/Grooms day and if they decide this everyone should respect their wishes, alot of people are doing it these days as I find too its not really a place for kids. I recently attended my friends wedding in May and there was also no children only to the church not at the reception but we actually left my children with my parents even overnight as the wedding was held 3 hours away from us and it was good for us to have time out too and really enjoy ourselves without having to worry about the kids. Maybe if your mum/MIL also attends the church with you's then they can then take your son home after the ceremony so then that will save you coming back and forward to the venues, I know my SIL's did this at our wedding their close friends came along to the church so then they could have their kids all dressed up etc and then the friends took their kids home for them, just a suggestion anyway see what works for you.

I have to agree, I don't go anywhere my son isn't welcome, some people don't have baby sitters at their disposal.
Hi Brandons Mum,

I feel you really need to look at it from your friends side also. I had a child free ceremony, except for my 2 y.o. niece who was the flower girl, and my cousins 2 month old bub who was still being B/F. All my other guests made arrangements for thier children to be babysat, one even brought her cousin up with her just for the kids!
I have been to 3 weddings since Gemma was born a year ago. She was invited to all 3, however we didn't take her, as I feel the night goes on too long for a child of that age, and there isn't really anywhere quiet you can put them down. This was also my train of thought when I had my wedding. I didn't want my guests leaving at 9.30pm as they needed to get their kids home to bed!
At the weddings I've been to, I have had a great time (especially the last one where I had completely given up B/F!!!) and I knew my girl was going to bed at her normal time, and I could let my hair down and have some fun, rather than have to keep my eye on her the whole time.
Don't forget, this is HER day, something that she doesn't plan on doing ever again. She should have what she wants only, and not have to sacrifice any happiness for anyone.
If you still feel hurt and cherish her friendship, it may be best to talk this over with her, you never know what the outcome would be. However, if she allows for your boy to go, he would probably be pretty lonely being the only kid.
Good luck in your decision making....

DD1 July 2004 DD2 August 2007 DS September 2009

hi brandon's mum
The same thing happened to my husband and i with our two daughters, the upset thing was that i was still breastfeeding so i had no choice, if my littlest couldn't go i was stuck too. Anyway it was my husband's cousin on his mother's side and they are usually very close, he was so furious that he said if we all couldn't go then half the family members weren't going either, they call back 5 minutes later, oh we would love to see you there.
For that rudeness they recieved a combined wedding present from 8 of us that totalled $29.95.
Speak to her and tell her it is too complicated for you and that if she really wanted you to go she could make the sacrifice for her best friend.
Sorry but this one was something that I wanted to have my 2 cents worth about but it is my story - not my opinion on any other posts...

I married in April last year and stipulated no children - no nieces, nephews or otherwise. Why... Because it was MY day and there were too many kids - if you invite one you invite them all and with 130 guests at $130 per head - well you get the picture. BUT this only gets better!

I had said no kids at the reception from onset BUT we would love to have the nieces and nephews in the bridal party - ALL OF THEM. (6 kids aged 9, 4, 3, 2, 1 & 9 mths) with DH and I buying the outfits (cost $270 per child x 4 girls & $120 per child x 2 boys). SIL (x2) were fine with this until two weeks to go and the phone call from MIL had me in tears. Told me I needed to change my mind, I wasn't being fair and apparently I never told the SIL's kids weren't coming etc etc... Then FIL (obviously seperated) called who yelled and screamed and said he wasn't going if the grandkids weren't going. Great.

BUT we did not back down. DH and I stood our ground...

The wedding day was lovely EXCEPT FIL would not speak to us, did not smile at the photo's (and turned up 1 hours late for photo's), refused to make speech, looked out the church window the entire time AND turned his back on me when I saw him leaving and went to say goodbye.

DH saw what had happened and blew his stack. FIL had recently told DH that he had moved on from phone call incident and I was a liar and DH realised then that this was obviously not the case.

I was so stressed out by the time my wedding day arrived - I didn't want to go!

Since this time, we have seen FIL once (in 15 mths) when we previously saw him once a week at least and he said hello to DH but ignored me... He has a 6 mth old granddaughter he is missing out on and it hurts me to see my DH standing up for me but at the same time losing a father and Mia losing a grandfather.

Believe me... Wedding days are extremely stressful and my story was a VERY CUT DOWN VERSION! Funny thing is that the SIL's had a great time, didn't leave till 2am and then hit the casino. Would they be able to do that if they took the kids? I think not!

So... My advise - not my opinion - is that if you truely valued your friendship, just do what a friend would do and go. Wait till after the wedding if you really want to say something.

Hope this helps and hasn't offended anyone!

Hi,
Our wedding was no kids also- but not strictly speaking- if someone had to bring their kids then fine, ours was from purely a practical point of view- kids are extra mouths to feed, so if we allowed ALL the kids to come, thats LESS adult relatives/friends that can come.


i dont think it is rude at all. her day, her way...
guys just an FYI incase you weren't aware - this thread is from 2005 smile
I had kids at my wedding but it was a daytime wedding and I wasnt fussed, plus you are only paying for a childrens meal and mine was only $15 per child, so it didnt bother me.
Im going to a wedding next week were children are invited but I have opted to have them looked after as I want a fun night out with the dh and I dont want to worry over what my children are doing, if they are tired and cranky ect. So Im sure with her stipulating that she wants no children she is probably just wanting you to have fun.

Most weddings have a two hour break between so it would give you something to do if he was to go to the church and then back home lol.

Someone bored this POST is from 2005... BUT in answer to that I get married in October 2010 and although my children will be at the reception no others will. Its my Wedding and my day and why should I have to have everyones children there as well..

We didn't say no kids but didn't put them on the invitation. When people RSVP'd we asked if their kids were coming and only my cousin brought her two and we obviously had DD1. Everyone else said they were more than happy to make other arrangements for their children so they could enjoy the night.

If we had have had all the children from the families attending then we would have had to hire another room in a different location. We only just fit the adults and 3 kids in.

While I get what you're saying, it's also their day. I would feel rude telling someone what will be happening on their wedding day even though it's not what they would like.

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