Huggies Forum

Baby v's Baby Lock Rss

Need advise... A friend has a baby roughly the same age and is constantly comparing her DD and my DD. It is starting to get ridiculous!

Examples: Her DD hasn't any teeth (has been teething since 8 weeks (?)) so apparently my DD couldn't be teething (I don't know what those things are in my DDs mouth - calcium deposits maybe?? LOL). My DD rarely crys (except this week with teething) so she tells me that something is wrong with her because she doesn't cry. Her DD hasn't rolled yet so my DD couldn't have either. My DD didn't smile for 6 weeks but her DD smiled at 1 week. This list just goes on! I am at a point where I avoid her calls because really, I DO NOT CARE!

Whats with this comparision rubbish? If her DD started crawling I would be excited and ask her what the signs were just before she started. Her DD is eating solids like a trooper, so I asked her opinion on getting my DD to at least try solids (my DD won't open her mouth) and she said "maybe my DD is more advanced". Well alrighty then.

Other than this latest baby verses baby thing she is a really lovely person and I enjoy (ed) her company. Any advise???????????

Kylie
Welcome to the world of MOTY (mother of the Year) Moty's are awful and need to be locked in a box and the key thrown away!!! LOL

Guess what my MOTY doesn't even have a baby yet but you should here her tell me all about my own!!!!

I have no patience for this cr*p so i can only advise you to stop hanging out with her so much.

Alternatively you can just sit her down and spell it out say that its not a competition and she makes you feel uncomfortable, then at least the ball is in her court to either pull her head in or stop wanting to see you, in either case you wont have to put up with her cr*p anymore.

Steph smile

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

Okay - I spoke to her about it (sort of). She rang and started again about DD verses DD so I politely said "doesn't matter anyway cause I wouldn't want Mia to be the same as your DD... That would make the world boring!"

Hopefuly she gets the hint and if not I will be more direct!

Hi Guys,
i read this and had to reply. A friend of mine was pregnant at the same time as me. She ended up having her boy three weeks before I had mine. The competition started as soon as we both found out that we were pregnant. I had severe all day sickness in the first 3 months, enough that I nearly ended up in hospital with severe dehydration. All I got from her was how well she was feeling, and how she just LOVED being pregnant. then she started on about the movements her baby was making, and that I SHOULD expect to feel this and feel that! All through the pregnancy it was...what till you feel this, and this feels like that. She kept going on about how she was going to have the perfect water birth, and breastfeed her boy until he was atleast 12 months old. I just kept saying that I'll take the birth as it comes as long as I have a healthy baby, and if I can breasfeed, then cool, if I can't then I won't. When she had her boy, she ended up being in labour for 24 hours ending with an emergency c section and wasn't able to breastfeed from day one. this upset her, but I kept reminding her that she had a very healthy baby boy that she should be grateful for. Then she started telling me what to expect in MY labour! And again, I replied politely that all labours, like pregnancies, are different. In the end I had the dream labour. 6 hours all up, no drugs, no tearing, slight grazing. And I was able to breastfeed until I decided to stop when my son was 3 months old. Since the births of our boys, she has been trying to compare our boys all along, and I keep telling her that all kids are different. In the end, both my husband and I got fed up with the constant comparisons, so we decided to end the friendship, as there was no way that she would stop, no matter how many times I kept reminding her that ALL kids are different!
My advice to people in this situation: tell the person that every pregnancy, labour and baby is different, and that you do not always get what you want. If this doesn't work, and you can't put up with it any longer, end the friendship.
With my next child, I know not to expect the same pregnancy and labour. I just wish people would think the same, especially about people from completely different families!

Rebecca, NZ, Boy born 30/10/03

Hi,
I totally agree with the previous posts.... I think most mums groups have one of these people in the group - with our mums and bubs group ( and we are all really relaxed kinda people) we basically told this one particular mum that we did not appreciate the constant comparing and would like her to stop it if she still wanted to catch up with us( yes a bit harsh, but sometimes you just need to be). There are about 7 or 8 of us which all had our bubs around the same time at the same hospital and yes we do talk about what our children do or don't do but we never compare and feel that one child is any better than another, it is a proven fact that boys and girls will all learn things at a different rate and no two boys or girls are the same. As long as your happy with the way things are progressing with your child then don't worry about what her's is doing/not doing. Chin up,
Lee
What ever she says to you let it go over your head.
I had to learn that fast since my sil was pregnant when i was and she had a boy too who is 3 weeks older than mine. But it's my MIL who compares them and i got to the point in saying i don't care. If i ask how my nephew is going i get good then she compare them.




good question stephanea, I would like to know how the 5 yr olds are doing....

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

Hahaha! very funny, i didn't notice that! Good spotting!
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