i read this and had to reply. A friend of mine was pregnant at the same time as me. She ended up having her boy three weeks before I had mine. The competition started as soon as we both found out that we were pregnant. I had severe all day sickness in the first 3 months, enough that I nearly ended up in hospital with severe dehydration. All I got from her was how well she was feeling, and how she just LOVED being pregnant. then she started on about the movements her baby was making, and that I SHOULD expect to feel this and feel that! All through the pregnancy it was...what till you feel this, and this feels like that. She kept going on about how she was going to have the perfect water birth, and breastfeed her boy until he was atleast 12 months old. I just kept saying that I'll take the birth as it comes as long as I have a healthy baby, and if I can breasfeed, then cool, if I can't then I won't. When she had her boy, she ended up being in labour for 24 hours ending with an emergency c section and wasn't able to breastfeed from day one. this upset her, but I kept reminding her that she had a very healthy baby boy that she should be grateful for. Then she started telling me what to expect in MY labour! And again, I replied politely that all labours, like pregnancies, are different. In the end I had the dream labour. 6 hours all up, no drugs, no tearing, slight grazing. And I was able to breastfeed until I decided to stop when my son was 3 months old. Since the births of our boys, she has been trying to compare our boys all along, and I keep telling her that all kids are different. In the end, both my husband and I got fed up with the constant comparisons, so we decided to end the friendship, as there was no way that she would stop, no matter how many times I kept reminding her that ALL kids are different!
My advice to people in this situation: tell the person that every pregnancy, labour and baby is different, and that you do not always get what you want. If this doesn't work, and you can't put up with it any longer, end the friendship.
With my next child, I know not to expect the same pregnancy and labour. I just wish people would think the same, especially about people from completely different families!
Rebecca, NZ, Boy born 30/10/03