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Hi, I'm Liz and have a 14 month old baby boy, Ben. He is the apple of my eye. I'm not sure where to start with this, but I just needed some one to talk to. I have been married for 4 years and was trying for 10 months before we fell pregnant with Ben. We have since been trying since November for a second but have had no luck so far. I get so depressed every month and fall into a heap. To top things off, my sister in law is pregnant with her 3rd. I am trying to be happy for her, but it hurts so much. All my in laws fall pregnant straight away. Why is always us?

Liz, Vic, Ben 20/1/2005 #2 due 25/01/2007

Hi Liz,
My name is Stephanie and reading your message is like reading about my own life.
I have been married for 3 1/2 years and had been trying to fall pregnant for 2 years before going onto IUI to concieve our now 2 year old boy Tynan, luckily it worked first time, we then had another 8 months of trying before going back on IUI and after 3 attempts fell pregs with baby no 2 which i'm due in 2 weeks and can't wait. So i know the despair you are going through. I also have a SIL who is pregnant with her 3rd.
I also hate it when people around me seem to fall pregnant at the drop of the hat, but then again i've heard that 12 months of trying to conceive is quite ok seeing as there is only 24hours a month that you can actually get pregs.
Congrats on ben and goodluck with no 2
steph
Hi Liz, I can relate to your story so well! I now have three most beautiful children(of course, I'm also very bias!). But it wasn't an easy road to get there! We tried for over 12months to fall pregnant with our first, I had just started the ball rolling to get some assistance when we discovered I was pregnant...our little girl is now 61/2years old!!! I was mistaken to think that having other children would now happen alot easier...not so. I can understand the frustration of every month. I waited two years then went to see a GP...who told me not to worry, because I already had a child it should just happen...maybe I needed to talk to a counsellor/psychologist!!! That did not help me...I felt like she was calling me a nutter!!!! However, on reflection, I don't think me stressing out was really helping. We were also getting the comments of "when are you going to have another baby" or "It's not fair on Emily to be an only child" very insensitve!!! To the point where we started to tell people we couldn't...that soon stopped most comments! Anyway, we moved back to Vic from Tas and sort some help...so with the help of some fertility drugs and artificial insemination we now have 61/2month old twins (boy & girl). Six years was a long time....so hang in there and try to keep positive....enjoy your little boy!!!
Hi Liz

If you are worried and stressing about it you really need to go to a doctor. Depending on your age and if you have a medical condition, then waiting for 12 months can be too long. I have endometrios and boardline polocystic ovaries. I didn't know about the Polocyctic Ovaries until I started to explore IVF. If you aren't happy with what doctors tell you go to another doctor to you find someone who will listen. I'm not trying to alarm you but if you think there could be a reason behind it, you need to expore it. You will need your husbands support here as he may also need to be tested.

I had been trying for close to 18 months and the month I was meant to start the pill for IVF I feel pregnant. I really believed it happened because I wasn't focusing on it so much. The months before IVF we had tried other drugs to try and stimulate my cycles, so I really expected it to work. I was focus on it the whole time and when it didn't happen I was depressed and really upset.

Take care and keep us informed.

Trish
xox
Hi Liz,

I too have had much trouble concieving. My husband and i tried for 2 years to concieve before we saught medical assistance and we only took that step because one night i woke in agony with abdomanal pain and drove myself into hospital. there i was told i had a cyst on my overy which could be the sorce of the pain and because id mentioned trying to get pregnant one of the nurses gave me the name of a good gyno and said that i should see someone because POS (Polycystic Overy Syndrome) could be the reason im not getting preg. She was right! Within 2 months of taking clomid (which kick started my overies and got the egg to mature) i was pregnant with my first child. I had a healthy boy who is now 22 months old. when we decided to try for another we thought we could do it without seeing a gyno (as they can be expensive). we just saw my GP who perscribed the clomid to us and sent us on our way. we did things exactly the way we had the first time but after a year of trying and 2 (probable-no way of telling for absolute sertantly)early miscarages we decided to see someone at the womens clinic for help. This is the first month of trying on clomid again (we had a few months break) with the guidence of the doc at womens clinic. she sent me off for a 'day 21 of cycle' blood test to make sure im still responding to clomid but i got a call thismorning saying she got the results and wants to see me again. now im worrying again! Anyway as you can see, its not uncommon to have dificulty concieving and your most certanly not alone. I agree with the girls above that you should see a doctor if you are concerned. i have been told they are not too worried if it hasnt been 12 months-but talk to your doctor anyway so they know your concerns. Dont wait as long as i did as i found waiting only prolongs the monthly cycle of depression! It is agonysing seeing a negative result month after month. So yes, see your doctor!
As far as your comment about everyone else getting pregnant but you... i know exactly how you feel. In the past 2 weeks ive just found that 2 of my great friends are pregnant and as happy as i am for them it only makes me want one more.

Goodluck, i realy hope you fall pregnant soon.

Mum to 3 boys

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